15 years ago, I was living the ultimate influencer life — 500,000 hits on my blog, Singapore’s Top 10 blogger in 2011, winning international influencer competitions as Singapore’s representative for Social Media Week New York.
There was a constant flow of sponsored trips, gifts and invites: perfumes, clothes, skincare (how many moisturisers can a girl have?) and free-flow Michelin-star dinners.
An endless amount of friends, maxing out at 5,000 Facebook friends. Flying around the world, partying from Hong Kong to Ibiza, fashion shows and VIP parties with celebrities every weekend.
I had a life everyone dreamed of. Yet my inner world was spiralling.
I was drinking myself to sleep, cutting myself, indulging in everything good and bad, carrying pain and hurt I didn’t know how to get rid of. Chasing constant highs. Happy one day, deeply unhappy the next.
Everything that felt good didn’t last, and I didn’t know why. Something in my life was missing.
Why does my life look so good but feel so empty? I didn’t realise I had built my whole life on sand. And it was crumbling.
I was still very much trapped in the social media rat race when, on an overseas trip, I encountered a series of unusual and unsettling events. Things I now understand to be spiritual attacks.
I was living with one foot in the world and one foot coming back to God. Attending church on Sunday, hungover from the club the night before.
Then I felt God arrest my heart with these words: “Do you want to follow Me, or do you want to build your social media followers? You can’t have both. You need to choose.”
In that moment I understood. It was only the prayers of my godly parents that had carried me to this point. And God was inviting me into something real. Something I knew I was missing in my life.
It made no sense to walk away from everything I’d built. I fought against it. But I knew this was a turning point. The spiritual attacks felt like a warning: choose your own path, and His presence and protection would lift. I was struck with a holy fear of God.
So overnight, at the height of my success, I made the decision. I concluded my remaining commitments, stopped posting, stepped back from every event and platform, and quietly faded from the influencer scene.
And that was where God began to change everything in my life inside out, and bring me on a ten-year healing and identity journey.
Today I coach and disciple influencers and leaders across the creative, tech, and entrepreneurship space.
Over the past seven years I’ve gathered and mobilised Christian creatives across the region, helping them discover their identity and redemptive purpose in God.
I could never have imagined my life turning out this way. I get to do things I’m passionate about, love God, love people across the nations, and use my creative gifts to glorify Him instead of myself.
I thought I was living a glamorous life back then. But now I’m living with genuine joy and a sense of purpose I couldn’t have manufactured on my own.
If I could speak to my younger self, I’d say this: it’s hard to believe what you can’t yet see.
But life with God is better than you could ever imagine. Follow Him. Choose Him every day. His purposes for us are far greater than our wildest dreams.
You are deeply loved and known by God. It sounds radical but everything you’re really looking for is found in Him.
You were created not just to consume culture, or be drowned by it. You were made to change it.
You were made different, for a purpose. God’s purpose.
Your creativity is worship.
If you’re a creative wrestling with the pull between platform and purpose, YWAM’s Creative Identity Conference is built for you.
Storytellers Track (1-3 Jun): the biblical foundation of creativity, co-creating with God, and how to bring a story to life.
Main Conference (3-5 Jun): creative identity, breakout workshops, and a Red Carpet Celebration to close.
Speakers include filmmaker and missionary Tyler Childs and Edric Sng, founder of Thir.st and Salt&Light.
Singapore | 1-5 June 2026
Register now: creativeid.ywamsg.org
