Growing up, I have hurt other people and I’ve also been hurt by others as well. Along the way I’ve declared so many people to have been “The One” for me… but is there really such a thing as The One?

All it takes is for one person to marry wrongly, and everyone in the world will not end up marrying The One they are supposed to be with.

But here’s the good news: It’s possible to become the Right One. 

Three practical steps:


If you want to start dating at 15 or 16 years old, that means dating for 14 to 15 years. That’s a long time to date with many temptations to go through. You will also be unsure of the person you are becoming around that age. If you are not sure what kind of person you’re becoming, how do you know which person you are supposed to be with? 


When you date in secret, you end up committing a lot of mistakes in secret, and end up hurting in secret. Make sure you have the spiritual covering of your parents or leaders who are praying with you, advising you and ensuring that you are on the right track towards godliness. That is how dating for a godly marriage should be.


If you’re not spiritually mature as an individual, how do you do life with someone and lead that person to godliness? Let’s get our own lives sorted and right with God before we involve someone else in our lives.

Finally, what does the Bible say about becoming the Right One? 

Paul tells us to become like Jesus Christ. That means becoming like Jesus in the way He would die for the Church, give Himself up for the Church and deny Himself of all the rights He had as God to live as a human being (Philippians 2:5-8).

To paraphrase, Paul is saying to you and me: “In order to become the Right One, deny ourselves as well.” 

We’ve got to lay down our lives so that we can build a right relationship that honours God.

So while I think it’s impossible to find The One, it is absolutely possible to become the Right One. So become the Right One.

These nuggets of wisdom have been adapted from our full article here — you’ll find more tips for dating as a couple within!