Back in January, I wrote a piece called “6 things no one told me about infertility”.

It was the kind of piece that writes itself; I just put down in words all the heartache, disappointment and pain my wife and I had carried over a 6-year journey through infertility.

But what I didn’t flesh out then, was the deeper story behind our season of childlessness. 

Some time after crafting that post, I found myself lying in bed in a TCM clinic staring at the ceiling. I was angry with God.

Angry, because this was not where I wanted to be after six years of trying for a child… poked by a dozen needles and heated up in strange areas. It was not at all the picture of fruitfulness God seemed to promise, through the words of knowledge and prophecies released over me and my wife in the preceding years.

• “I saw you carrying a baby girl…”
• “You will get pregnant by the end of 2025…”

Different people from our family and friends, who don’t know each other, had shared words, dreams, visions and prophecies like these with us.

We weren’t sure what to do, and so we spoke with a trusted mentor and pastor who told us that it would be wise to hear from God Himself.

That night, we prayed that God would speak to us about this personally, and He confirmed it to my wife and I in a special, intimate and undeniable way the very next day.

It’s already done

Hearing God for ourselves gave us strength for the season ahead. We had faith that God is not cruel and would keep His promises, so we sought to be faithful and obedient.

On disappointing days, we walked through UNIQLO to buy baby clothes though we had no babies to show for. We made the house baby-safe, religiously took the necessary supplements and got our health back on track. We kept the faith that this kid would come and so we moved mountains in anticipation for that. Already Done by Michael Bethany was playing on repeat.

We multiplied our cell groups and raised up a new generation of leaders so the groups would not be stranded when the pregnancy happened. We kept dreaming, we kept laughing about the jokes our kid would say or the things she would do. We never gave up, and we lived and laboured for this miracle.

And then January 2026 came and went, and… nothing. Still no baby.

Just the familiar heartache, and new questions. What was that all about God? Where’s our happy ending?

Those were the sort of thoughts that swirled around in my head as I stared up at the ceiling of that TCM clinic, ranting to my faithful friends at Thir.st who graciously listened to me.

We cried. We gave ourselves the room to be angry and disappointed. And those days taught me that when God doesn’t give you what you want or play to your timelines, it tests everything you know and say about Him.

I had spent years in painful moments reminding my wife of God’s truths, that He is faithful and gracious and He keeps His promises. That He is not a joker, He is not cruel… and though we can’t understand it, to look up right now and flash God a grin amidst the tears because Heaven’s taking a picture and it’ll be sick to look back on this moment and know we kept the faith and we wore a smile.

I probably may not have always believed what I said. But we said it until those truths stopped being hollow and slowly became faith for us.

The numbers weren’t good

In time, grieving gave way to grace. And we had the peace to take the next step in faith to receive advanced fertility treatments.

The financial cost doesn’t even come close to seeing the love of your life undergo a regiment of medicines, injections and procedures. But my wife is an incredible woman who walked through it with the grace of God.

We took one day at a time, praying thoroughly and scientifically through each step of the fertility treatment. We faithfully applied ourselves to giving this last shot the very best chance we could.

I know for a fact everything was in God’s hands because our chances weren’t good from the start. My wife was found to have a very low egg count which had decreased drastically since our last fertility check a few years prior.

At the first scan, the doctor had only found two follicles that developed (the usual number for women under heavy stimulation would be something like 10 follicles or more).

We were crushed because the gynae wanted to pause this fertility treatment after seeing the numbers and explore other drugs to improve the ovarian reserve, which would set us back another few months.

But we decided that we would persist in faith, and so we laid hands and prayed over her body that God would give us more follicles. Two follicles became three, and weeks later at egg retrieval, the final number of eggs retrieved were five.

Out of the five, only two were viable – and those two became our embryos. Our gynae still wasn’t confident, but she put those embryos in… and God did His thing.

Time passed a lot slower in those two weeks. Through many moments in the day, we reminded each other about God’s truths and His character. We held each other through the tension of holding things loosely and holding fast to God, simply taking one day at a time.

We cooked the healthiest meals we could (out of which an avocado aversion was created), we watched TV, we prayed and read the Word, we walked, we worshipped. And days drifted by to this surrendered rhythm until a special morning came.

“Gabe, they’re calling!” Over the phone, the nurse asked for our NRIC numbers, the reciting of which felt like an eternity. And having confirmed our identities, she said: “Congratulations, here are the HCG numbers… 794. So congratulations, you are pregnant!”

Congratulations? We cried and we cried and we cried over the phone as we heard that one word. Tears of sheer joy, tears of sweet relief. Glory to God, we were finally pregnant. He had kept His Word.

How our hearts swelled with amazement and gratitude that God had come through for us!

As the first trimester progressed, we prayed like we had never prayed before. With regards to pregnancy, all we had ever known prior to this good result was disappointment, so we were particularly anxious.

But God held us, and kept us through every rocky moment, like when those cramps felt a little funny or when there was spotting out of nowhere.

In moments like these, we remembered that He was with us, and were always comforted to know that He who begins good works sees them through.

You’re faithful to complete what You’ve begun in me

The day came that we were called to the clinic to scan the heartbeat of the fella, the very day of my birthday. All was going well, and then my gynae suddenly said in a lower tone: “Wait, sorry. There’s one more.”

Just like that, God had doubled His gift to us and doubled our joy. We knew God would keep His promise to us that there would be a child, but we serve a God who gives abundantly, so when we found out that there were two – it was like God was giving us a double portion of blessing.

Twins! I had always wanted them and had said “wouldn’t it be nice” but had never dared hope it would actually come to pass. But there they were, our little gummy bears – and growing bigger every day!

Some news is too good to keep, and this is one of them. I want my daughters to know that the very first time mum and dad talked about them to the world, their stories gave glory to God.

So, thank you for praying with us back in January. I know that God heard those prayers. Continue to pray for us as we prepare for their arrival later this year. My wife is now 20 weeks along and we are still taking it one week at a time, trusting in God who keeps His promises and gives grace.

Our family gives God all the praise, now and always.