Real Life, Real People

My battle with bulimia and anorexia

Time: 3.43AM. Distance covered: 22.7km. Calories burned: 1,743kcal. Current weight: 52.7kg. That was how far shame took me. At 14 years old, I was training to be a national high jumper. My fat...

Life & Death

The kind of life I want

I was recently at a funeral wake of someone I’m not related to. My wife’s friend’s father. Let’s call him Uncle P. It was obvious that Uncle P was loved by his family,...

Apologetics

On Joy: The darkest depths of despair, and the dangerous duty of delight

Joy? What joy? Minds overwhelmed, we rage, avenge and despair. Our fathers turned to booze. These days it’s mantras, happiness summits, self-improvement gurus, personality tests and...

Mental Health

The social butterfly that grew lonely

“I think I’m struggling with loneliness.” The first time I admitted it out loud was three days ago. I was having dinner with a close friend, and we were on the topic of “things you don’t...

Real Life, Real People

Where are you, my babies? Two lost children later, I finally became a mum

One midnight in April 1999, I was pushed into the operation theatre for an emergency operation. I was then 6 weeks pregnant. My first child was growing in my right fallopian tube and the tube was...

Mental Health

How are you? No, really: How are you?

It’s a rainy Sunday morning and the guy on stage is giving his usual welcome-to-church spiel and, like he does every week, he refuses to let us sit down. Before we all get comfortable in our...

Health

Faith and fitspo: When are we merely worshipping golden calves?

Fitness, once culturally confined to small communities of professional strength sports, bodybuilding, track and field, is now accessible to the white-collar worker, housewife and kid next door....

Real Life, Real People

I was 18, full of ambition, full of myself. Then my heart stopped beating

I woke up groggy and disoriented in a bed that was not my own. I looked around and realised I was in a humid hospital ward. Beside me, an old man was wheezing violently, hands gripping onto the...

Mental Health

Do you cry yourself to sleep each night like I do?

If you didn’t know me well, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell that I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and a combination of anorexia and bulimia for most of my life....