There are games in which we wouldn’t mind being the last man standing, like king of the hill or hide-and-seek. But what if it’s cell group we’re talking about? Undeniably, that would be less pleasant and likely every cell leader’s worst nightmare.

This article covers just such a situation: a real-life scenario where a man found himself as the last person standing in his cell. This is Stevie’s story…

Once upon a time

A second-generation Christian who grew up in church, Stevie’s parents connected him to a youth cell group in Primary 6.

That was where he met his first cell leader, T, who was in Polytechnic at that time.

The cell group was a vibrant one, filled with many guys within a four-year age gap. The group was also under a bigger “zone” which was helmed by a youth pastor.

The cell group met often, and it allowed Stevie to feel as if he was part of a bigger community. More importantly, he felt challenged to grow spiritually.

The cell group saw tremendous growth and it even multiplied into two cell groups when Stevie was in Secondary 2. For Stevie, this community of guys meant everything to him.

But when he entered Secondary 3, it all changed.

The last man standing

There were two factors to the whole situation.

For starters, there was a shift in the church’s discipleship structure and vision. The second factor was that his cell group was undergoing a transition of leadership.

In his church’s previous discipleship structure, a cell leader would hand the group over to the next leader when it was time for the former’s National Service. Hence, when T graduated from Polytechnic, Stevie’s cell group underwent a transition of leaders.

These two factors resulted in a season of uncertainty.

Whether it was due to a misalignment with the church’s new vision or the season of transition proving to be a convenient excuse for members to leave – many of Stevie’s cell brothers left the spiritual community.

Though the church and its leaders tried to manage the many changes, it didn’t stop Stevie’s entire cell group from leaving. First the leader, then the members. One by one they left, and eventually Stevie felt alone.

To make matters worse, Stevie’s walk with God was not exactly stable during that time.

He found himself living a double life in church and at school. While he faithfully attended church services and cell group during the weekends, his weekdays would be full of swearing and cursing – though he would still engage in the school’s Christian fellowship and gather fellow believers to pray together.

One part of Stevie wanted to be like Christ, but the other was drawn to the world and its ways. He was torn between the two. Being the last man standing in the cell only drove him further and further away from God.

A web of deceit

During that time, Stevie wanted to leave the church too. He figured that with all his close friends gone, why should he stay?

He begged and pleaded with his parents. But they adamantly refused to let him leave. That left him feeling bitter and confused, and worst of all, abandoned.

Thus, Stevie refused to join any cell group. Though he attended church services on weekends, he would feel lonely.

While he sat with peers his age, his friendships with them were superficial. He didn’t really know them personally, and he didn’t feel as if he belonged.

Stevie rejected all the help his parents offered, whether it was open conversations, offers to link him up with other cell groups or prayer.

Eventually, Stevie would skip church entirely. Whenever he told his parents that he went to church, it was all a lie.

On Saturdays, he went out early and came home late. Before he got home at 11pm, Stevie made sure to drop his friends a text about what the pastor preached at service that day. When we got home, he would have enough information to fool his parents.

This went on for two years.

A pathway to restoration

Yet, even in this web of lies, hurt and anger, God was still working in Stevie’s life.

In his second year at Polytechnic, Stevie’s first cell leader, T, contacted him to join his cell as a member. By that time, T had finished his National Service and his studies abroad.

Moved by the Holy Spirit, Stevie agreed.

While things weren’t immediately smooth sailing, it was a small step. A step towards God and a spiritual community again.

Many of his old friends and leaders were happy to see him return to church. Yet, though Stevie appreciated the friendship, his heart remained hard as stone.

One day, Stevie’s cell leader challenged him to sign up for a mission trip. However, Stevie was hesitant and unwilling. While his cell leader gently encouraged him, Stevie always felt a sense of awkwardness when the topic was brought up.

This went on till the mission trip team was confirmed without Stevie’s name being on the list.

Inwardly, Stevie was happy. But in the midst of this, he bumped into an old friend in church.

Their conversation steered towards the mission trip, and when asked if he was going, Stevie replied that he was considering going but could no longer do so as sign-ups were closed (this was merely lip service from Stevie).

His friend’s reply shook him: “Oh, what a coincidence! I was actually on my way to meet the pastor because my cell member needed to drop out from the trip. Would you like to take over her spot?”

At that moment, Stevie knew with certainty in his heart that it was no coincidence — God was speaking.

Standing on the doorsteps of his church, those five seconds since the question was asked felt like an eternity. Stevie had to make a choice, and right there — he chose God.

Agreeing to go for the mission trip did not transform Stevie overnight, but it did spark a whole series of events for him that helped him reconnect with the larger spiritual community.

Leading up to the mission trip, several compulsory training sessions were put together to prepare the team spiritually and mentally. These training sessions not only forced Stevie to look outwardly and beyond himself, it helped him to forge new friendships with fellow believers.

Since the mission trip was part of a concerted wave of mission trips initiated by LoveSingapore, Stevie had the opportunity to listen to teachings by various pastors and missionaries from different churches. These teachings also led him to have a fresh encounter with the Holy Spirit.

And so, Stevie left Singapore for missions with renewed fervour and a genuine passion for the Lord.

While on the mission trip, Stevie saw and experienced things that helped him catch a glimpse of God’s heart for the poor and the needy,

There was an instance when his team went around the villages to distribute food. They visited a father of two young sons who could not walk due to his injury. 

This family only had leftover rice to eat, which was already being swarmed by flies. Through a translator, the man let the team know that his wife was out working in the fields.

This was the moment when Stevie’s heart broke for what breaks God’s heart. The team prayed for healing over the man’s legs and also gave them the bag of rice and food they had come with.

Though they did not witness healing, Stevie left with a heart of gratitude and a newfound burden for people like that father. It allowed him to understand his privilege of living in Singapore and also to learn contentment.

Besides that, being surrounded by a loving community of God’s people also allowed Stevie to find the place where he truly belonged — and the rest is history.

Don’t give up on God

Stevie’s story resonates strongly with me. I have often felt as if I were in the eye of the hurricane, watching my cell group crumble around me as I struggle with my doubts and questions.

If you can relate to Stevie’s story as well, I feel for you. Navigating the problems that arise within a cell group is never easy. There are no hard and fast rules as to how you should handle such issues within a cell group.

But what Stevie advises is never to give up on God and His people.

If you are struggling with your faith — regardless of the reasons why — take ownership and arrange to have heartfelt conversations with your cell leader or pastor.

And for parents and leaders, let us not give up on our children or the youths we lead. Do not give up on reaching out to your children or the youths you lead.

Pray for them. Cry out in intercession for them. Your simple reaching out and questions might sometimes be the very words that God will use to speak to their hearts.