Senang diri. Two words that most Singaporean men are familiar with from their time in National Service. And words I’ve come to realise I need to take to heart. Stand at ease.

I’ve been getting excited about what’s happening all around Singapore. We were dubbed the “Antioch of Asia” by Billy Graham in 1978, and it feels like that vision is becoming more real each day – with movements like Permission to Dream at various university campuses in January, the Elijah 7000 prayer movement in May, and Campus Combined in June.

But in all these excitement, I come to realise the need to be God-centric and not good-centric – to serve from a place of rest. Stand at ease.

When we stand at ease, we take a little pause to listen to what Christ has to say, and not run ahead of ourselves. To make sure we’re not downgrading God-things into merely good things.

I learnt this because a couple of months back, I did just that – I ran way ahead of myself. I was doing so many different things – for God, or so I thought. I was leading a small group, “mentoring” several individuals, serving in church ministry and in school committees, all at the same time.

People constantly asked me if I had any prayer requests. But the prideful side of me refused their kind gestures. I kept telling them – convincing myself – that I was in a good place, there was no need to pray for me.

But the moment I paused amid my flurry of activities, I found that I was weary. Drained. I was tired, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. More worryingly, I found I had stopped loving people. I found them annoying and I just wanted to hide in my shell, away from people.

God was beginning to break down the pride in me, gently letting me know that I am not indispensable, and that it was not sustainable to run this race on my own strength.

I realised I needed to take a step back.

Around November last year, I was offered the role of being Prayer I/C for Permission to Dream, the cross-campus, pan-denominational prayer movement. Permission to Dream was something close to my heart as I have always wanted to see schools and students united in pursuit of Christ.

I knew that the event would be an exciting one – but I also knew the Holy Spirit was gently nudging me away from it. The nudge was to tell me to turn back to God once again, to refill myself before serving. To go back to the Word and seek restoration. To refresh my soul.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31)

So in December, when I had to make a decision, I was torn. I remembered telling God: “I look to you, guide me please.”

It may seem a simple phrase, but it was so difficult to say – because it meant that I was acknowledging that I could no longer rely on myself.

I said “no” to planning Permission to Dream. It meant I had the time to recline at Jesus’ feet, a feeling I had missed for a long time. It reminded me once again that God does not need us to run things.

He gives different people different gifts at different times for different things. He has the power to raise even dead people to life – all we have got to do is to stand at ease and be obedient to His calling.

Standing at ease helps us to rest in His presence each day. Though there are times when I just want to sleep after ending a long day of work or school, I realise that if I put it off – telling God I will pray and read His Word tomorrow – tomorrow never comes. Instead, what comes is burnout.

So now I treat the end of each day as a pit-stop. At that pit-stop, I rest. This is not an optional extra – God rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done (Genesis 2:3).

Take time to check the state of your heart. Pause to be refreshed. Stop to hear from God again. Make sure He’s the reason why we’re doing anything. Our calling is not to save the world, but always to love the Lord our God. This love should drive the commitment, and our action.

We move out of a place of rest. Stand at ease, and you won’t grow weary.