One of the most useful things from my time in counselling was this phrase my friendly old counsellor would always say to me: “Would it help to apply a bit of objectivity to the situation?”

Over the months to come, I’d learn that it sure would. Practising applying objectivity to my situations and fears showed me that the lens of truth helps to quell anxious thoughts.

I also realised that believers have a bonus advantage. Not only can we apply logical truth to the situations we face in life, we can also apply spiritual truth from God’s Word as well.

With that in mind, I came up with a personal framework in the acronym FLOW which has made a real positive impact on my thought life. It’s yours if you find it helpful too!

• FEELING
• LOGIC
• OVERCOME
• WORD

FEELING

Identify the feeling or fear that you’re experiencing.

This is about figuring out what is actually going on in your head or your heart. I have found it most helpful to sit down, take pen to paper – and write it all out. Actually define what you’re feeling or facing.

For example, it might look something like this: “I’m feeling very anxious right now because I’m worried that I said something weird over dinner and my friends are going to judge me for it.”

Force yourself to crystallise, for yourself, what is actually going on. It makes all the difference to first clear the smoke, and then see what’s really causing the trouble and if it’s even warranted.

LOGIC

Now, apply some logic. Is it objectively true? What are the facts? What are some other factors to consider?

Bring some truth in. Your feelings are real but they may not be an accurate response to what truly happened.

Sometimes, when I’m unsure about what I’m feeling or have just experienced, I like to write down factual statements related to the issue that I know are objectively true. They are like my little anchors as I navigate choppy waters or stormy seas. It’s about asking the question: “Is it true?”

Developing a clearer picture of the facts and all the factors to consider is emotional work, but it helps us zoom out, slow down, before we make a decision about what comes next.

So, take the time to weigh up what is true. Respond rather than react. Whenever I stop to bring some truth and logic in, I have often found that the big problem I had built up in my head was not even an issue at all. In this regard, it also helps to ask a third party for an objective opinion.

Instead of hastily making empty apologies or just blowing our top to make it all go away – applying some logic to the situation trains us in the practice of empathy and gives us pause to be compassionate to ourselves.

OVERCOME

What will I choose to do now that I know this? How will I choose to love myself and move forward?

Realise that you can make a decision about what happens next. You’ve identified the feeling, weighed up whether it’s true – so to move forward you must decide what the outcome shall be. How are you going to overcome this?

If you find that you owe someone an apology, go and make peace. If you need more clarity through further conversations, ask for it. If you need to establish boundaries or redefine them – have that conversation. Write it down and then act on it.

You don’t have to be stuck in the feeling forever. You can move on by moving forward, so think about what the outcome should be. Consider how you now want to overcome this situation, and then take that step in prayerful discernment and/or consultation with trusted friends or leaders.

When you look back, you will realise that you have already moved forward and you will thank yourself for it.

WORD

What is one promise or truth of God or verse I can anchor myself on as I move forward?

You’ve already got logical truth, and now you can seal the deal with logos truth. Whenever I have chosen to move forward, I have found it immensely helpful to lean on Scripture for strength and assurance to keep going on.

There is a beautiful verse in Psalm 119:105 that reads: “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Friend, let that be true for your life as you lean on the Word of God for spiritual truth, because the truth sets us free.

Lean on that as you flow through life with Jesus!