There is a little plant by the name of “morning glory” that has cute flowers and heart-shaped leaves. It sounds pretty, looks innocent enough and sure appears that way – but is actually an incredibly difficult weed to remove and will affect the growth of everything around it.

Similarly, there are attitudes and behaviours in cell group and spiritual community that – if we leave alone long enough – may well threaten the health and spiritual growth of the group. 

Unpunctuality

We rightfully accept it when someone is late for valid reasons like a family emergency or a vehicle breakdown.

But we should consider whether we have become too permissive and even condoning over late-coming that’s persistent and without a good reason.

Speaking on the importance of good organisation in ministry, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14:40 that all things should be done decently and in order. 

Our punctuality, our readiness to serve and receive, is one of the earliest markers of a culture of honour. We must be humble enough to count others more significant than ourselves, and that starts with valuing one another’s time. 

Since our conduct is a conversation, let’s strive to put a sweet sound in God’s ear by arriving to church in a good spirit and time. And let’s also be careful that what we communicate about grace does not corrupt the virtues of order and excellence. 

Wrong words

In many communities, words like sh-t and d-mn have been normalised as everyday language. But do they belong in our speech as Christians? They do not. Cursing, swearing, racist jokes, jibes that cruelly demean others… these have no place among God’s people.

Ephesians 5:4 is also clear about it: Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 

When I first started leading cell, I did not shy away from using words like “sh-tty”. I foolishly thought I was being real and relevant every time I used words like this… but the honest truth is that I was careless with my words. 

Years later, I heard similar words come out of the mouths of the ones I led and raised as leaders – and it brought me a special kind of grief since I knew exactly where they had got that from. 

Most leaders don’t realise it, but we begin leaving a legacy from Day 1. Those we lead watch how we walk and talk, and they will follow after our example. If we want to help those we lead to become people who speak blessing, we must first pursue Christlikeness for ourselves in word and deed. 

It’s the only way we can show ourselves to be a good example in speech and conduct.

Cliques

It’s nice when you have a familiar group of people in the group that you can always return to, sharing comfortable jokes and old stories, starting group chats, going on outings and even trips together.

But here’s the part that’s not often considered: is it only nice for the ones inside that group? What about those who are outside of the circle – the ones never invited or privy to the inside jokes?

Nothing will choke out a seeker, newcomer or fellow group member quite like an exclusive inner circle that is preoccupied with their comfort and blind to the collective good.

So, let us love one another well by being considerate of others and inclusive. May our time together go towards building a shared Kingdom community where strangers become members of the family of God.

What can we do as leaders?

Firstly, it’s not about shaming or controlling the ones we lead. It’s not about policing your people. 

For starters, now that the start of the year is coming up, consider setting expectations clearly and kindly before or during your first meeting in January.

• “Hey guys, our time together is valuable. Let’s honour God and one another by being on time.”
• “Words matter, let’s make our speech glorifying to God.”

We should also get curious before getting corrective, finding out privately why people can’t seem to come on time and if there is some way to help them, or why they say certain things in certain ways. 

Making these kinds of connection is key in discipleship, and it will gain you the opportunity to then speak into their lives.

Leaders are the spiritual thermostat of the group. We set the spiritual atmosphere. So, model what everyone has agreed to do together. Take responsibility and hold your hand up when you fail. 

And be brave enough to build bridges and connect people with one another. Explore new arrangements and environments in ministry. Move chairs around, shake groups up, go to new places – train up trustworthy people who will follow your lead on this and pull newcomers in.

By the grace of God, you can trust that these efforts will reap blessing and that a new culture will begin to take root in time to come – a Kingdom culture that pleases the heart of God.

Would you pray with us today?

Dear Lord,

I know that unpunctuality, harsh words and cliques do not please You.

As I take steps to change the culture in the group, would You give me success in these endeavours so that it glorifies You.

Would You begin to move in the group, doing in the hearts of the people what only You can do?

Give us strength to change, and grace for when we fail. We look only to You, and do all things ever for Your glory.

In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray, amen.