I don’t want to grow up.

I’ve definitely said this more times than I can count, usually with a huge sigh and an XL dose of sianness. It’s also become a common refrain amongst my friends, surfacing in the rants of our Telegram channels or as part of our monthly (or sometimes even weekly) quarter-life crises. 

Especially so, since I’ve just hit the Big 2 – the age marking my awkward entrance into adulting, and the loud, unwelcome eviction from my teenage years. I can’t help wondering if this is how a baby bird feels when it is nudged out of its nest – expected to fly, though every fibre of its being yearns to crawl back in and nestle under its mother’s wings a little longer. 

When I was younger, I remember looking at my cousins who were in their 20s during Chinese New Year, thinking that they were so grown up. They looked like they had everything together.

But now that I’m on this side of things? Sure, I’ve had more life experiences now, but honestly, I still feel the same mental age, and I’m not really sure what I’m doing with my life. 

So what exactly about growing up are we so scared about? At the heart of it, I guess it’s the fear of change. And growing up shovels a lot of change at you. 

Change has many faces

For one, there are the practical annoyances. Like not qualifying for the student price for the MRT fare or at Anytime Fitness. Or realising instead that you are no longer the youngest person in certain social settings and have started making comments like “Wait, you were born in what year?” 

But beyond the surface-level shifts, growing up brings deeper change, especially in our relationships. 

Growing up means friendships change. People move away, start new jobs, get married. Along the way, they change. You do too. Life gets busy, and time together becomes rare. Daily conversations over prawn mee at the school canteen turn into catch-ups requiring months of scheduling beforehand.

And that’s if they do happen at all. Otherwise, these are the quiet goodbyes no one warns you about.

Most sobering still is watching our loved ones grow older.

It starts subtly: they move a little slower, become more hesitant to participate in activities they once loved, or ask you whether you’ve eaten for the third time.

Then without realising it, you’re the one accompanying them to their medical check-ups, helping them navigate apps on their phones, explaining things they once taught you.

As your world continues to rapidly expand, theirs might just be quietly shrinking. And before you can process it all, you find yourself taking care of the people who used to take care of you. 

Time seems to move forward relentlessly, whether you’re ready or not. 

And yet, God is in control

Amidst all these changes and uncertainty, something deeply comforting that I hold on to is this: none of this catches God by surprise. God completely knows how we feel (Hebrews 4:15) and He holds our future in His hands – hands that are infinitely more capable than ours. 

Our 20s will try to convince us we’re behind, whether that’s our grades, career, relationships or even our calling. Often, there’s a lot of searching but not many answers.

But what if this is the very purpose of our season right now (Ecclesiastes 3:1)? God’s not rushing us to have everything figured out. He’s moulding us. For most of us this will not be a season of arriving, but a season of becoming. 

Even Jesus faithfully lived 30 largely unrecorded and unassuming years before He began His ministry here on Earth. Years that may have seemed ordinary, but in light of eternity, were anything but.

Why are we so convinced that we need to achieve more, be more, prove more to God, others, and — if we’re really honest — ourselves?

And so, what I’ve been learning most about growing up is just to slow down and enjoy the ordinary and the unknown with Jesus, trusting that He makes all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). 

There may be nothing special about it. It could just be going about everyday routines, or developing new ones. But the beautiful thing is that whether we’re spending time alone, reading the Bible, studying, eating dinner with family, or doing the chores – they’re all part of the beautiful story God is writing in our lives. 

Not childish, but childlike

Growing up is not something we have to dread. We can take heart that this season is part of the beautiful, sometimes uncomfortable, but grace-filled adventure we are walking with Jesus. 

We may not feel our age just yet, and we may still feel like a child navigating an adult world. But maybe that’s not a bad thing: God invites us to hold on to childlike faith and joy so that we can shine as lights in the world for His kingdom and for His glory (Philippians 2:15). 

walking with Jesus… even the ordinary work of becoming is precious

So, here’s to having things not figured out. Here’s to the waiting, the confusion, and the growing pains.

But most of all, here’s to one more year of walking with Jesus, knowing that even the ordinary work of becoming is precious, and He who began a good work in us will indeed carry it out to completion (Philippians 1:6)!