If you’ve been catching up with the news and been around social media of late, you would know that there has been a lot going on.

Like the popular actor who has been at the centre of an alleged underage dating scandal involving a young actress who took her life, with him denying all of it despite the mounting evidence.

Or the controversy surrounding a particular TikTok influencer and her pastor husband due to the fact that she is allegedly left to juggle multiple jobs while pregnant to pay the bills, while he plays computer games all day and roasts her in his church sermons on the weekend.

One has painted, with his life, the perfect picture of an endearing top star. The other has built up the image of a loving, godly husband who leads many others in his ministry.

Unfortunately, it’s looking like it wasn’t real at all.

Beyond the drama and the tea, there is a deep shock that everyone collectively has been trying to process and digest.

How can he turn out to be like that? How can someone like that be given a public platform? How can things be so starkly different in private and in public? How can?

The fact is, however, that it could well be any of us. So, how can we look out for the dangers of a double life? Well, you might consider this AAA method.

Aligned

There are failures that happen in a moment, and there are failures that happen over the course of a life. We protect ourselves and flee from the former, and we align our lives rightly to guard against the latter.  

There’s a beautiful part in the Bible when Joshua declares before the whole nation his and his family’s commitment to serve God: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

That’s a private decision and a public declaration that he will be living a life that is aligned to what God wants. Every Christian has to have this Joshua moment for themselves, or we end up meandering through our short lives half-heartedly.

The thing is, when we’re not clear about who we’re really serving and what our values truly are — we end up doing whatever we see fit to. 

We need consistency in our internal and external life, between the things we think and the things we do. Between who we say we are and how we really behave. That comes from daily following the compass of God’s leading in our lives, which produces personal integrity.

If we don’t have that, we just have discrepancies (and discrepancies have a peculiar way of coming to the light eventually).

So let’s make a decision to align ourselves to God’s vision for our lives. Let’s be bold to declare that we will live aligned to godly values. 

We will also know we are aligned when our lives are producing the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Authentic

Forget everything that social media has taught you about how to BeReal. Authenticity happens when we are honest with ourselves about what is true about ourselves.

If you are a thief, don’t go pretending that you are Jesus. Accept that you are a thief who needs Jesus. If you are a womaniser, don’t pretend you are a family man. Run to Jesus and spiritual community for the grace, accountability and help that you need to walk in the light.

Authenticity demands humility and a right view of who we fundamentally are — sinners in need of grace. Authenticity is not performance, it is a deep and open reliance on God for what we need to get through the hour. 

And if you really are authentic about that, then it also demands action: you will choose to live in ways that help you become more like Christ.

So, put aside the “brand” and how other people see you — who are you becoming?

Remember that the Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

If one is truly authentic, then he comes before God just as he is (but God won’t leave him there!). And that person, whom God is working in, is the same person in the home and out in the world. 

That guy has nothing to prove, except for the fact that God is good and that he daily needs Him. That guy’s a real one.

Accountable

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2)

Do you have spiritual friends who are willing to call you out on your BS (bad stuff)? Do you have real brothers who are not afraid to speak truth to you in love, to challenge you when you’re going down a wrong path?

Or do you only surround yourself with people who play nice and say nice, who keep the friendship “safe” and sweet for you?

Some of us quietly believe that we will surely die if The Secret comes out or that thing is finally dragged into the light.

But the truth is, God’s Word promises that there is healing in accountability. 

So, we need friends with Kingdom values to speak truth into our lives, and we need to be in partnership with them by doing the same for them.

By the way, here’s a tip on gaining such wonderful friends: If you can’t find that person, be that person for someone. Et voilà, you are now accountable!

End of the day, it could have been any of us.

And that’s not a platitude about human nature — it’s an earnest acknowledgement of our sin.

So, let’s deal with sin resolutely. Let’s live aligned to the Word of God, authentically before God and man, and accountably with our spiritual community.

In that way, we leave no room for discrepancies and make no compromises that allow for the dangers of a double life.