“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Goodbyes are always hard, even if they are not forever. “Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow” – borrowing a line from Romeo and Juliet, I am slowly dealing with leaving my ministry in a couple of months as I prepare to be away for most of the year.

It is not the first time I am leaving a ministry, but this goodbye seems more difficult than the previous ones.

Unlike my previous student ministries where service was only for a year and you would most likely handover after your term or when you graduate, church ministry has no expiration date. This is especially for cell or discipleship ministry, where you can be with the same group for years.

Reflecting on my discipleship group (DG), I am beginning to pinpoint my reluctance to leave them.

I did not start out actively serving in my DG. I was just a member. Close to 4 years ago, when this DG was formed, I never imagined where it would be nor that I would be so attached and not want to leave.

We were an amalgamation of people plus and minus my age, and at that time I saw little need to be so involved in a DG that was connected by seemingly nothing else besides our age.

Given that mindset, I told myself that DG could wait until I was more settled in life. I remember distinctly having no plans to serve given that there were people already leading the group. Moreover, I knew I would be graduating soon, going for my training and then graduate school. And this DG might not even last long.

I distinctly remember telling my DG leader that I was still involved in school ministry and I would come when I could – but my priority would still be school. I would come back to DG after I graduate. With hindsight, such dangerous words.

Having such as homogenous cell group has its pros and cons. One of the main cons was that the early years were unstable. As we were forced together due to age despite not knowing each other well, we were awkward with each other and sharing seemed forced.

Motivation to come every other week was low, and it was a struggle to force myself to show up. I always made excuses that I was too busy with school.

Nevertheless, God had His mysterious ways of bringing me into the service of my fellow members. During my professional training, several difficult events occurred that reminded me how important it was to have Christian community.

There was also one evening where only my leader, his wife and myself were around for DG, so instead of Bible study, we prayed for the future of the group and its people. That was the turning point.

Even though I had said I would only start serving after my training, I took the leap of faith and started 3 months earlier. I also started being proactive, suggesting a change in structure to facilitate community building within the DG. A while later, I even took up the challenge of teaching them. 

As I consider how much they have grown and matured, it is heartening to see how far we have come as group. From awkward strangers, we have now become a community we look forward to seeing and celebrating life’s moments with.

Now I understand why I’m sad to be leaving them. Having served my DG for 2 years, it is amazing to me how attached I’ve become to something I was so detached from.

In life and ministry, we all have seasons of drought and revival. Sometimes, we are involved in weathering the drought, other times, we might even have to leave when the crops are prospering. In 1 Corinthians 3:6-7, Paul wrote that he planted, Apollos (his ministry counterpart) watered, but God gave the growth.

“So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” (1 Corinthians 3:7)

We are but servants to the living God – He determines our time and place for service. It is not about us, but Him.

I take no credit for what my DG has become but only thank God for the opportunity to have served His people. The goodbye will still be difficult, but I know that it is only temporary and I look forward to seeing them again when the seasons turn once more.