When I made a crazy decision of faith to quit my stable corporate marketing job and go into freelance music full-time, I questioned myself time and time again.
With already 30 years of life experience, a HDB flat, car loans and a child in tow, was I sure this was God’s call for me? Or was this a self-fulfilling prophecy because I desired to do what I love? For me, there was only one way to find out.
With calculated financial decisions and a happiness index that my husband and I designed based on factors like remuneration, passion for the work, working hours, career progression and job satisfaction, everything seemed to be in line.
And so I chose to trust God and took a leap of faith. I left my job in October 2019 on a high because freelance gigs and performances are usually at their peak from November to January.
It felt like everything in my life was in tune, and I had hit the major highs that I always longed for.
On top of that, I met a wonderful entrepreneur who wanted to support my music dream and gave me a part-time flexible job. Running a Christian kids’ music business for her, I had the opportunity to learn the ropes of building a business from scratch.
It felt like everything in my life was in tune, and I had hit the major highs that I always longed for.
A few months later, COVID-19 hit the world, the circuit breaker ensued, and I very quickly found myself in a situation of extreme instability. Music gigs were postponed and cancelled, and I was let go from my part-time job because the business had to shut down.
In my frenzy, I hustled so hard to try to get virtual performances for some income. At the same time, I had to care for my son who was now home 24/7 and was always worried about what would happen to us if my husband lost his job too. It felt like layer after layer of anxiety and worry being added onto me.
But what could I do except to lay down all my fears? The only thing I knew was to use music to bring comfort and peace to other people.
I started doing online live worship on my Instagram page when churches were not allowed to have worship on-site anymore. I recorded songs of hope and shared all my struggles online. To my surprise, people started to respond to me via Instagram through my posts.
Someone shared with me that she had been going through depression and had been admitted into the Institute of Mental Health for her condition. A person with Parkinson’s disease claimed that he never cries, but said that he cried uncontrollably while listening to me sing. A new mum shared her heartache of watching her two-year-old daughter go through multiple surgeries since she was born.
It gave me new meaning and perspective to what my music could bring.
While it was encouraging to hear all these amazing stories, I started to feel the weight of everything that they were carrying – the pain, the burdens, the emotions. I had never felt this way before, and it was almost too much to bear.
One day during the lockdown, I took my guitar, locked myself in my son’s room and just started worshipping. It seemed like the whole world was crashing down on me within those four walls, and the only thing I knew was to turn to God in that despair.
From that place, I wrote a song called “Peace” for one of the people who had reached out to me.
It was the same peace that I longed to have amid the crazy things happening in the world, a peace I needed to experience to pull myself out of the situations that were out of my control.
I sent a recording to that friend, and it became an anthem for her to claim God’s peace in her situation too. Little did I expect that one year later, COVID-19 would hit with a second wave, right smack during the planned release date of my song.
“Peace” is a song that encourages others to look to the Cross in overwhelming situations. If you need something to sing as you cling onto God, this song is for you.
Priscilla’s song premiered on episode 6 of Ember Sessions, a new video series by The Fireplace Collective. Co-founded by Priscilla, Jia Hao and Joshua, The Fireplace Collective is a Christian creative agency that combines their skills and experience in music and media.
Ember Sessions showcases original songs from Christian songwriters that are birthed from stories of personal journeys, God-encounters, struggles and scars. You can catch Ember Sessions on The Fireplace Collective’s Instagram page (@thefireplacecollective) every Friday, 9am, where they will release an original song.
