In the past, my whole life was filled with insecurities and inadequacies.

Whenever negative thoughts overwhelmed me, I wouldn’t know what to do other than cry my lungs out. A day came when crying wasn’t enough, and I decided to physically hurt myself to replace the constant emotional pain I was in.

I thought that it would make me feel better. But what was supposed to be an one-off thing gradually became a habit — a coping mechanism whenever the waves in my life grew too tall.

On one night, filled with tears and chaotic thoughts, a voice broke through the darkness. God spoke to me: “I am fighting for you, not just with you, but for You.”

When I heard that, suddenly I was no longer fighting the giants in my life alone. There was Someone whose embrace I could rest in – someone I could finally find peace in. God’s Word stood true in a real way for me that night: “weeping may endure in the night but joy comes in the morning” (Psalms 30:5b).

Truly, His mercies and grace are new everyday (Lamentations 3:22-23). I saw for myself that God is not a god who forsakes us when things get tough Instead, He is a God who holds true to His promises.

The God who said to Joshua, “Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with you whoever you go” (Joshua 1:9) – that’s the same God who told me I wouldn’t have to struggle in my battles alone.

My messed-up life … now a message of life

You may be struggling through shame and guilt alone, fighting your Goliath all by yourself. This giant in your life might come in the form of insecurities, inadequacies or even the guilt that comes from hurting yourself. 

The first scene of shame and guilt in the Bible occurs in the Garden of Eden, after Adam and Eve sinned when they ate the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:6). They sewed fig leaves to cover their shameful nakedness, hid and came up with excuses for their sinful actions (Genesis 3:10-12).

Doesn’t this sound very much like us? We find means to cover up our shame and guilt – self-harm is just one of the ways. But self-harm is the furthest thing from real healing.

“I am fighting for you, not just with you, but for You.”

It doesn’t have to be this way. You are never alone. It took me great courage and strength to open up to my godly counselors about what I was going through, and I know it will be hard for you.

But what drove me to get help was recognising that self-harm does not honour God. Hurting myself is not the response to the shame and guilt that I was facing. When we face shame and guilt, we need to recognise that there is grace.

In Christ, we can rest in the fact that our God is a Healer.

Nothing good will come out of self-harm or self-injury. Dear friend, you are not alone. There is help available.

We can start with these practical steps towards freedom from self-harm.

3 STEPS OUT OF SELF-HARM

  • Look out for godly and trustable friends in your community, allow them to journey with you.

  • Start journaling through your battles so you remember what He has done in your life. Allow let God’s Word speak to you. In response to negative thoughts, praise and worship God, allow His peace to comfort your soul.

  • Whenever you feel overwhelmed, tell someone. The voice that tells you no one cares is lying. There is hope and help available.

Remember that you are God’s beloved and it pains your Father to see you hurt yourself. The secret to winning this battle lies in Jesus. Enter into His presence and surrender this battle into His hand.

He is fighting for you, He has always been.

Whatever help you need – it is available. No case is hopeless and no one ever has to go through life alone. 

 

* The author’s name has been changed for confidentiality.