From a young age, Kelly Seah’s life was marked by hardship and instability. She grew up in a broken family, torn between her divorced parents, each of whom had remarried. 

She endured physical abuse from her father and rejection from both step-parents, leaving her feeling unwanted and out of place in both homes.

Desperate to find acceptance, Kelly found company with the wrong crowd and began turning to drugs, alcohol and smoking. 

Her emotional turmoil eventually led to multiple suicide attempts, resulting in frequent admissions to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

The breaking point 

Her breaking point arrived in late 2022 when she entered a relationship with a man she met online. Though things seemed promising initially, the relationship deteriorated into one marked by violence and hostility. 

“Every day felt like absolute torture,” she reflected. “I knew he wasn’t treating me right, but I could never bring myself to end the relationship because I thought I needed him.” 

Kelly found herself stuck in a never-ending cycle of dependency and fear, and when her partner finally ended their relationship a few months later, she was left emotionally distraught and extremely empty on the inside.  

“I had given up everything for him,” she shared, also revealing that she had severed connections with most of her friends and even resigned from her job just to spend more time with him. 

Consumed by despair, Kelly went up to the rooftop of her housing block that night and was ready to end her life. “I was determined to die that day. I was so done with everything,” she said. 

A few moments before her suicide attempt, she unexpectedly received a phone call from an old friend with whom she had lost touch.

Reluctantly, she answered. Kelly became overcome with emotion, and broke down in tears. She explained to him where she was and voiced out her helplessness. 

Sensing her danger, her friend called the police and gathered a group of mutual friends who stayed with her that night until the wee hours of the morning. 

Today, Kelly believes the call was a divine intervention from God that saved her life. 

Rules and rocky roads 

Later, one of her friends invited her to church. Although she attended church for about a month, she struggled to derive meaning from the church’s activities. She found it difficult to connect with other members and often felt isolated within the community. 

Moreover, she viewed the church’s teachings and guidelines as restrictive and felt stifled by what she saw as “rigid rules”. Kelly eventually returned to her old habits, seeking comfort in familiar vices. 

A few months later, Kelly met another man online and their conversations quickly developed into a second relationship. 

To her delight, he was significantly kinder than her previous boyfriend and treated her with genuine care. For the first time in a long while, she experienced a refreshing sense of happiness and love.

However, after a year, he abruptly confessed that he saw no future with her and believed it was best to end things between them. 

This devastating news left her utterly shattered, heartbroken and helpless. “No one will ever love me again,” she thought.

You are home, and you are loved.

Shortly after the breakup, Kelly was on a flight back from Sydney when she felt a prompting in her heart to contact a friend she had met at church.

“I hadn’t talked to him in a long time, and I was worried it would be awkward to text him out of the blue,” she recalled.

The voice in her heart grew increasingly clear and insistent, prompting her to send him a message.

Eventually, though reluctant, she decided to text him and arrange a time to catch up. The two reconnected, and he invited her to return to church.

Kelly then gave church another chance and even attended a church camp in June.

It was during the morning worship session at this camp, when Kelly encountered a transformative moment. 

During the worship, she heard a voice proclaim to her, “You are home, and I love you.”

At that moment, she knew that she had heard God’s voice. Kelly knelt down and started weeping. This encounter with God gave her such a deep assurance of Christ’s love for her, especially since she never knew where her true home was. 

“I always felt like the black sheep in church, but at that moment, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I was set free from this identity,” she recalled. 

The deep sense of shame from her past began to fade away, as Kelly recognised that Jesus had died for her sins. For the first time in her life, she felt cleansed of all the guilt she had been carrying around. The camp marked a significant turning point, and she fully gave her life to God.

Kelly is now preparing for her baptism this November alongside other church members. She eagerly looks forward to beginning this new chapter with a renewed sense of intentionality and purpose in following after God. 

Are you struggling? 

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Through her story, Kelly hopes to reach out to non-Christian friends in her circle who may also be struggling and are in need of God’s love. 

Even though her healing journey is ongoing, Kelly has found strength in knowing that God is with her every step of the way.

“I still face temptations to return to my old life, but God keeps reminding me to choose him daily,” she shared.

Her message to those going through similar struggles is simple: “Talk to God and seek Him.” 

Kelly’s story echoes the truth found in the parable of the lost sheep, where Jesus teaches us about the inherent worth of each individual. 

“I tell you that in the same way, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:7) 

God cares deeply for each one of us; no one is beyond His love or redemption.

If you find yourself living in despair, feeling as though no one loves you or that you have lost your way – remember that you are not alone.

God sees you, and He loves you more than you can imagine. Just as the shepherd rejoices over finding his lost sheep, all of heaven rejoices over each person who turns back to God. 

No matter your past or struggles, seeking Him is never too late. Reach out to Him in prayer (Matthew 7:7), and you will discover a loving Father ready to guide you through every trial and lead you into peace and hope.