“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

As Christians, we’ve surely heard the Great Commission at least once in our lives.

We are all called to evangelise, by sharing the Gospel with the people around us. But what happens when those we want to reach out with the Good News are simply… uninterested in God? 

In evangelism, there are three parties involved — God, your friend, and yourself. So, when it comes the next step for when our friends are not interested in Christ, we must address all three parties.

It is ultimately God who does the work

Before we open our mouths, we need to open our hearts to God. Start the work of evangelism in prayer. Ask God who you should speak to. Pray for their hearts to be softened and to be receptive to the Gospel. 

In the Parable of the Sowers (Matthew 13:1-23), seeds fall on four different types of soil:

1. Hard soil
2. Rocky soil
3. Soil with thorns
4. Good soil

Ideally, all our friends have hearts with “good soil”. The Word sown, stays in their heart — and they come to faith and mature as disciples.

Unfortunately, we will also encounter the other three types of soil elsewhere. Sometimes, some people are just are not receptive to hearing the Gospel.

We really have to leave it up to the Holy Spirit to convince and convict them. Let the Holy Spirit do the nudging and revealing of who God is.

What we can do is to pray for open doors and opportunities to show these friends the love of God. We can also pray that our friends will see Christ in us and be curious about our lives. 

The Holy Spirit is the only one who can convict us about our sin (John 16:8). Without Him, our efforts will never be sufficient in reaching out to our friends.

So, commit our friends to the Lord in prayer, and trust that God will work in His own way, even if nothing seems to be happening.

Friendship without an agenda

If your friend has clearly demonstrated that he is uninterested in God, let’s not be hasty to make any other moves. We need to pause, ask God and tread carefully out of love and care for the other party.

There’s a fine line between persevering and being pushy. The latter drives people away from the Gospel, rather than bringing them to it.

At this stage, the best thing we can do for our friends is just to treat them, genuinely, as our friends and love them as Jesus would.

Sit with them through tough times. Show up for their big events. Be their listening ear. That is how we love well as a friend, and it may even invite questions about why you do what you do.

Our friends go through different seasons in life. In every season, there may be a different approach towards reaching them with the love of God.

In difficult seasons, we may not have to go all out and preach because sometimes, the loudest form of evangelism is quiet companionship.

Don’t be pushy – but don’t give up just yet. Keep praying, and keep loving.

Your conduct is a conversation

Live a life that rightly represents Jesus. Show and tell. So, show them how Jesus has changed your life. Show them what Jesus has done for you.

Some people term this as “lifestyle evangelism” and rightfully so. Our lifestyles include our decisions, how we speak and the way we treat others. More often than not, people will associate our lives with our faith.

Our actions can also invite questions from others. When we live counter-cultural lives, it becomes natural that others are curious about it and ask us questions. We now have a good platform to strike conversations and share our faith.

Don’t just pay lip service to the life-transforming power of the Gospel – your actions will speak louder than words. 

At the end of the day, there is a time and place for every style of evangelism, direct or indirect.

There is no guarantee that our efforts to evangelise will see fruit for ultimately, the Holy Spirit is the one who changes hearts and minds. But let us be faithful and do what God calls us to.

And remember that our friends aren’t projects waiting to be fixed. Evangelism isn’t just another Good Christian checkbox to tick.

Rather, it is a lifelong journey of following after Christ’s example and journeying with our friends, loving and serving them.