On May 14, 2021, it was announced that Singapore would be entering into Phase 2 (Heightened Alert) with effect from May 16 to June 13 in a bid to curb the spread of new COVID-19 clusters.

Specifically for couples who are getting married during this period, this meant that:

• Wedding banquets have to be cancelled or postponed.
• Solemnisations may continue for up to 100 participants with pre-event testing (PET) and 50 without PET.

These are tremendous challenge for soon-to-be-married couples.

We spoke to three of them who are tying the knot during this period on the challenges they faced — from changing their wedding plans seven times to uninviting 200 guests within a week — to learn how they are coping with the changes and the hope behind their wedding and marriage.

WE CHANGED OUR WEDDING PLANS 7 TIMES

For Wei Jing and Abigail who planned their wedding more than a year in advance, they initially didn’t think too much about how COVID-19 would affect their wedding.

“I guess I brushed away whatever thoughts because back then, it seemed like our wedding was so far away,” explained Abigail. They started wedding preparation last March with the intentions of tying the knot on June 5 this year.

“Maybe when more people around us started asking what we were going to do, did I then start to think like, ‘How ah?’”

Wei Jing shared that he, on the other hand, was more alarmed: “I thought in my head: ‘It’s okay, calm down. Time for Plan B, C and D.’”

Little did he know that plans B through D wouldn’t even be enough — the couple would end up changing their wedding plans at least 7 times!

From an initial guest list of 270 people, they had to filter down to 50 guests, then up to 100 guests, and now — they’ve decided to go ahead with just the solemnisation while postponing their wedding banquet altogether.

In fact, the couple had just collected their invitation cards two days before the announcement of the new restrictions, rendering the invitation cards unusable.

“I felt disturbed and lost,” Abigail admitted. “Things kept changing every day with new rules and measures. We couldn’t even keep up.

“In fact, most news was told to me by friends who were more updated than us!”

The couple, both working in essential services, even joked that they might not even be able to meet each other on the wedding day.

With the flurry of changes, the greatest challenge they faced was deciding whether they should postpone the entire wedding ceremony.

Weddings are a joyous occasion and they had wanted the works, like floral decorations, photo booths, artisan ice cream and even bubble tea.

But after “many hours of negotiation” between themselves, they decided to go ahead with the solemnisation on June 5 and have the wedding banquet at a later date.

“It was a struggle between waiting out the pandemic not knowing the end and continuing on with our life plans,” Abigail shared. “We wanted to celebrate the occasion with many people but with the regulations I knew it would not be possible.”

The 25-year-old bride-to-be also noted: “I recall hearing a bride say that they would proceed with their solemnisation no matter what situation is thrown at them. The only thing that would stop them is if the government bans marriages!”

Sharing his takeaway, Wei Jing said: “For me, I’d say enjoy the process. Life is a roller coaster, that’s what makes it fun. Sometimes you get a little stressed up but we’ll just have to manage it.

“I refuse to feel disappointed. Weddings should be a joyous occasion. We have a finite time here on earth, so just have fun and don’t forget to have a Christ-centred life and relationship.”

I stand firm in the fact that I have an unchanging God. God is good, all the time.

It was a sentiment his fiancée agreed with: “We may have plans but at the end of the day, the Lord establishes our steps. Many a time, I planned out so meticulously what had to be done but life just happens.

“I don’t think my point is to give up then, but I believe this serves as a reminder that we seek God daily and submit our plans to Him.

“Am I affected by changing plans? The answer is still yes. But I stand firm in the fact that I have an unchanging God. God is good, all the time and this I know for sure.”

A COVID WEDDING FROM THE GET-GO

For Lendrix and Lisa who only started planning their wedding this year, they knew they had to manage their expectations if they wanted to get hitched by June.

They forwent having a church reception right from the start, opting to combine the solemnisation with the dinner banquet at a hotel instead.

“Even though that meant that we had to cut our guest list by half, we felt that this arrangement would make the event more meaningful for our guests,” Lendrix explained.

“In hindsight, we are extremely thankful that we made the decision to have a smaller guest list because in the last two months, we have been on a rollercoaster ride with all the changes in regulations.”

It has certainly been a rollercoaster ride indeed.

When Singapore entered Phase 3, Lendrix and Lisa were over the moon to discover that they could cater for 250 pax as long as PET was provided for unvaccinated guests. They started making arrangements but things quickly went back to square one when social gatherings were reduced from eight to five people.

With the new restrictions, their hotel was only able to accommodate just over 100 guests. Sadly, even that arrangement did not last for long due to the latest announcement on May 14.

“We were still reeling at the announcement of the reduction in group sizes from eight to five, when we had to throw everything we had planned out of the window and start from scratch again,” Lendrix shared, referring to the banning of wedding banquets in Singapore.

With that, came the question of whether to separate their solemnisation from the wedding banquet. Lendrix and Lisa decided that they wanted to go ahead with the solemnisation while holding the banquet at a later date.

“It was not a tough decision to make as we have been looking forward to the wedding since forever,” said the couple, who has been dating for six years and engaged for two.

“Besides, we are into the final stages of our home renovation and it would be completely ready just before our wedding. How could we not look forward to finally getting married and moving into a new house together?”

The greatest challenge for Lendrix and Lisa is to adapt to the many changes that came with the new regulations.

“A lot of time was spent reading up on the prevailing measures set by the government and liaising with the hotel’s wedding coordinator,” Lendrix elaborated. “This unfortunately means that our efforts are rendered futile when new changes come our way.”

Thankfully for the couple, friends and family have been understanding and supportive throughout this entire journey. Besides checking in on them, their friends would offer a helping hand without Lendrix and Lisa even asking.

“Some even asked if we needed to cut our guest list and volunteered to be uninvited just to make things easier!” marvelled the couple.

Amidst the changes, we know that He remains constant and we can wholly trust in Him.

Families from both sides also reminded them to enjoy the process of wedding planning and not get too stressed about things that they cannot control.

“Even though we saw the changes coming, we’re definitely a little disappointed. But we are not letting our emotions get the better of us,” agreed the couple, who acknowledged that theirs was a “COVID wedding from the get-go”.

For Lendrix and Lisa, the quote “The only constant in life is change” has never felt more real. Yet amidst all the uncertainties, they take comfort that God is always watching over them.

“When we look at the current situation of the world, we are, more often than not, laden with constant bad news and a lot of negativity. However, in God we can find peace in our troubles because we know that He has overcome the world,” Lendrix said, quoting John 16:33.

“With our wedding coming up in less than a month, we are just taking it as it comes and doing whatever we can, to the best of our abilities,” said the 26-year-old groom to be.

“We will leave the rest in God’s hands because amidst the changes, we know that He remains constant and we can wholly trust in Him.”

UNINVITING 200 GUESTS IN A WEEK

Douglas and Mingxuan had high hopes that COVID-19 would not be here to stay for long when they first started wedding preparations last June. The arrival of the vaccine in December buoyed their hopes even further.

However, Mingxuan began to worry when the local cases started increasing this year. “On sleepless nights, I thought about the possibility of downscaling our wedding,” she revealed.

“Different contingency plans ran through my mind on what we should do if our plans might have to change. Many of our plans were set in stone and the thought of having to navigate through this season of uncertainty was a bummer to us.”

The couple’s plan was to hold a church solemnisation for 250 guests on May 25. Under Phase 3’s regulations, this was possible as long as there was no food consumption for events held on religious venues.

However, just one week before their wedding, the new regulations kicked in. Couples could now only invite 50 people without PET or 100 people with unvaccinated guests having to do PET for the solemnisation.

Douglas and Mingxuan decided to forgo the PET tests since the cost of providing the tests would be too much for them to bear.

But that meant that they had to uninvite 200 guests within a week, and direct them to tune in online instead.

“I did not prepare for worst-case scenarios or contingency plans, so I was taken aback when the wedding plans were disrupted,” Douglas revealed.

Mingxuan, on the other hand, still couldn’t help but to feel disappointed even though she was mentally prepared for the changes.

“Yesterday I was planning for a wedding with 250 guests, today I need to plan for a wedding with only 50 guests. What if tomorrow new measures are implemented and I have to plan for a Zoom wedding?” she shared vulnerably.

“It felt like running a marathon and falling down right before the finish line,” she added. “It was tiring and I felt like I did not have to strength to pick myself up to finish the race well.”

After wrestling with God individually, we came together and decided that we must major on the major

While Mingxuan initially didn’t want to deal with her disappointment, God spoke to her when she went for a run to destress.

“He reminded me that it was okay to acknowledge these emotions and process them with Him instead of sweeping it under the carpet,” shared Mingxuan.

“I took the time that night to process my emotions, wrestle with God and talk to my leaders. At the end of that night, God gave me peace to continue on with the wedding only with 50 guests at the physical site, even though it means that the wedding might fall short of my ideal.”

Douglas concurred with his fiancée. Amidst everyone’s queries and advice, what they really needed was some time to seek God and ask for His wisdom in this situation.

“After wrestling with God individually, we came together to discuss and decided that we must major on the major,” the couple said.

“Ultimately, matrimony is not about the glitz and glamour of having a ‘dream wedding’. It is a sacred act of committing ourselves to one another. Till death do us part. For the glory of God.”