There’s the middle child syndrome, the only child stereotype and now, the younger sibling struggle.

Siblings are expected to be similar. People expect you to behave the same, maybe even look the same.

Growing up, I went to all the same schools as my older sister. Even though we are half a decade apart, I was always known as her sister. She was extremely popular among her peers and teachers; teachers’ eyes would light up immediately whenever I drew the link between us.

It doesn’t just happen in school. My sister and I serve in the dance ministry in church. She entered the ministry about 4 years before I did. When I joined her there, everyone asked me “so, you do ballet too?”

I have to admit that my sister and I are quite similar in many ways. We look alike, we’re interested in dance.

Even my parents perpetuated the feeling. I’ve always followed my sister in terms of what I do, which school I go to, and even where I take my enrichment lessons. My parents seemed to make her the test subject, the prototype, for me to follow.

Frankly, it was blissful. She took all the risks and first times, so I could have a safer journey.

But instead of following God’s plan for my life, I was following God’s plan for my sister’s life.

My sister went on to become a lawyer. My parents also came to expect me to pursue an occupation that was as prestigious as hers – meaning either law or medicine. So it was almost instinctive for me to apply for those.

But I stopped short. I realised that at this age – on the cusp of adulthood – I had a big question to ask: Whose life is this anyway?

Just like how even identical twins have different thumbprints, God made us unique individuals. Has has a special plan for every single one of us.

But instead of following God’s plan for my life, I was following God’s plan for my sister’s life.

Would I follow God’s plan for my sister or His plan for me?

Forget medicine. Forget law. When I told my parents I wanted to study business, they pushed back immediately. Where will a business degree get you in in life? It’s just a general degree – what a waste of money! You want the stability that a degree in law or medicine offers.

But in the end, I wanted to study business.

The journey of stepping out of my sister’s shadow was one filled with trepidation. I’d be lying if I were to say I wasn’t fearful.

I’d grown so comfortable with taking the safe route that I forgot to seek God about the things I was doing. My sister had gone before me and been through everything that I am facing now. I just did what she did.

I thought I had peace in my heart – but it wasn’t peace, just passivity.

In the safety of my sister’s shadow, my trust wasn’t in God, but in my sister. My assurance was in seeing my sister succeed, and thinking I could do the same. I’d always put my hope in what I could see – which was my sister, blazing a trail before me. But …

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

So now I’ve started out on my own path. In my choice of school, then my career, and who knows where that will lead me.

Coming out of my sibling’s shadow is scary. But all is well. It felt safe there – but I know who’s leading me to a better place.