“Actually, I grew up as a Christian. I’m just exploring different churches for now,” Abigail admitted to us.

It was her first time at my church; my cell group had tried to connect with her after the service, thinking she was a pre-believer.

She had a faint look of … embarrassment. Like, I know this is not what I’m supposed to do.

Christians visiting other churches have gotten a bad reputation. Disloyal. Problematic. Entitled. In the past few months alone, I’ve had 5 friends who decided to transfer to another church. Whenever this topic comes up, the conversation always takes on a hush-hush tone.

Why is changing church such a taboo subject?

YOUR FAITH IS NOT TIED TO A BUILDING

Of course there are many legitimate reasons to move to another church. A friend made the switch because she felt the calling to be more involved in mercy ministries, which the other church specialised in. Another left because he wanted to pursue the prophetic realm to a deeper degree.

In those cases, they moved on because they wanted to pursue Jesus in a greater, or different measure than their previous churches were able to offer. While they may serve under a different church name, worship in a different building and run the race with a group of different people, we know we still hold on to very much the same faith.

Rather than changing church to run closer to Jesus, we change church to run away from our problems.

There’s no shame in leaving in order to learn, grow and serve Jesus to a greater extent. Changing church isn’t leaving the faith. And if it helps in your walk with God, why not? We need to see our faith beyond the four walls of a church.

Our loyalty is to a divine Being, not some decorated building.

The problem starts when, rather than changing church to run closer to Jesus, we change church to run away from our problems.

RUNNING FROM CHURCH PEOPLE

One of the most often cited problems people run away from is … other people.

You know the feeling. You don’t want to see someone because anger arises when you think of how he has wronged you. Or maybe it wasn’t even you, but your friend who was offended, and you’re still bearing the vicarious anger.

So now you don’t want to be in the same social circle because it hurts to even hear his name. You can’t even worship God properly because of the unsettling feeling in your heart. You don’t want to have to deal with it any more.

But escaping doesn’t solve a problem; it merely delays having to deal with it. And the problem wasn’t that person. It was your perception of him. Your anger. Your judgment. Your unwillingness to forgive. Whether or not he was really in the wrong is irrelevant.

Jesus frequently focused on the message of reconciliation when it comes to disagreements between fellow believers (Matthew 5:23-25; Matthew 18:15). That uneasiness in your heart? It may just be the Holy Spirit nudging you to handle the situation appropriately; this always happens to me.

And while not all differences in viewpoints can be resolved, all relationships can be resolved. It can’t become an excuse to run away. Paul says in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Meaning our part is to pursue reconciliation regardless of the other side’s stance – and live with a clear conscience if it’s unsuccessful.

RUNNING FROM CHURCH LEADERS

“The teachings are too shallow.” “The pastor is too boring.” “I don’t agree with how the church is run.”

While gripes with the church management are inevitable – even the most senior Senior Pastor is still only human – leaving should not be our immediate option (unless your church is preaching heresy).

The church does not primarily exist for our comfort, but for God’s work to be fulfilled (Ephesians 3:10). We may not like everything about our church (Full disclosure: I cannot stand the air freshener my church uses) but we need to learn how to agree to disagree on secondary issues.

A few years back, some of my friends in church complained about how the sermons were “watered down” in order to cater to pre-believers. Some felt their spiritual maturity was being compromised as a result, and wanted to change church.

My church doesn’t deliver perfect sermons all the time, but they strive for excellence. For that, I am proud to call it my home.

I’d been in church for about 5 years then, and I wouldn’t deny that the teachings were extremely foundational. But over the years, I’ve seen how the depth and the relevance of the sermons have improved by leaps and bounds. This is only possible because the preachers have had the chance to learn and improve.

My church doesn’t deliver perfect sermons all the time, but they strive for excellence. For that, I am proud to call it my home.

Relocating to a more preferred environment may be more beneficial for personal growth. But there comes a time when we step up to fill the gap instead of complaining about the lack. As much as Jesus often met felt needs before expecting life transformation, He also instructed us to make disciples and not simply to remain a disciple ourselves (Matthew 28:18-20).

Playing our part and contributing to the church is a vital part of a Christian life (1 Peter 4:10). There is no room for entitlement in a house build upon grace.

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED

It’s very easy to discard and pick another church to start afresh whenever things do not go our way. After all, Singapore has hundreds of churches – we are spoiled for choice!

But changing church should not be our first option every single time. Don’t give in to the carnal instincts of our consumer culture. There is no perfect church, so don’t spend your whole life looking for one.

God is more interested in our character than our comfort. Escaping from problems could mean missing the lessons He wants to put us through.

Do what is necessary for the strengthening of your faith. But just like how a constantly uprooted plant cannot grow properly, we all need a place where we ground ourselves, so that we may blossom.