I have always been someone who valued independence and self-reliance. I relied on myself to navigate life’s demands and shouldered a lot of pressure to achieve my personal goals. I considered myself a Christian, but I saw it simply as being part of a religion.

Not having a personal relationship with God made it very difficult to trust God with His plans for my life. I would often second-guess my decisions. I doubted if my decisions were what He wanted, and whether they would lead me to the best life possible.

It was why my life was filled with striving.

When the opportunity to attend an Alpha Course came up, I agreed because it was like having a discussion with people of the same age rather than hearing a sermon.

Alpha was welcoming too; I found that everyone in the group was very open in asking questions and sharing their thoughts. The facilitators also responded to these questions in a neutral and respectful manner without forcing their beliefs onto the participants.

Each week, the Alpha videos helped me to understand what it really means to have a relationship with God. The sessions’ discussions also motivated me to begin praying to God for clarity over what I was learning.

That first step led me on a journey of discovering how God is moving in my life!

Stop striving

Towards the end of the Alpha Course, I encountered the Holy Spirit.

I felt a lot of heat in my body, and everything went numb. I saw many colours and I felt a lot of emotions. That was also when I received the gift of tongues.

I was then prayed for by a pastor. The pastor told me to stop striving and learn to be still with God, and assured me that God doesn’t need me to keep trying. I simply needed to appreciate being in God’s presence.

In the following week, I came across a 40-day devotional in a Christian bookstore. One of the entries was on Jesus’ interactions with Mary and Martha. That reminded me of the pastor’s words on being still.

Subsequently, when I attended a youth camp in church, a friend also brought up the same passage on Mary and Martha – which was when God’s message for me to stop striving and be still finally sank in!

“Sit and watch”

During the last night session of the youth camp, there was an opportunity for all the participants to respond and be prayed for.

Eager to hear from God, I was ready to go. But it seemed like God wanted to teach me a different lesson. I sensed God telling me, “Stop. Just sit and watch.”

As I obeyed, I began to witness many people encountering God and receiving healing. That was an amazing sight to behold!

I finally saw the beauty of just sitting by God’s feet and watching God move, instead of constantly asking God for signs or things.

From that moment on, the posture of being still has given me so many opportunities to see that God is trustworthy, and it has completely transformed my relationship with God.

Instead of constantly being unsure about what is of God and anxiously demanding answers, I have now learned to trust in God’s sovereignty. 

It’s a bit like listening. As I come into God’s presence without my demands and agendas, God’s voice becomes clear. My thoughts no longer cloud my mind and I have greater clarity that God is speaking.

My prayer life and relationship with God have also been renewed because I have personally seen God’s faithfulness in my life. As I put my trust in God, I finds myself being able to surrender all my worries to God and enjoy God’s presence as a friend.

So, learn to keep an open mind and trust that God will do what needs to be done. This is my posture towards life now, and also my advice for anyone who wishes to find out more about God through Alpha or other means.

When everyone comes in with an open mind, that’s when God can work!

From March to May 2025, Alpha Singapore will be organising Alpha Youth Everywhere to rally churches and ministries to run the new Youth Series on a synchronised calendar.

Participating churches will also be invited to a Combined Holy Spirit Day Away on 5 April 2025. Join their Telegram channel to find out more!