It was merely two days after Christmas when my boss broke the news to me: The company had not been doing well financially. It was forced to downsize, and they had to let me go.

As I was only five months into this role, I was in complete disbelief — it wasn’t supposed to play out like this.

Just about a month before this news, I got married and moved into my newly purchased home a month.

And less than half a year before, in the midst of hectic wedding preparations, I made the decision to leave a comfortable and stable job in the armed forces to pursue a career as a creative.

I had known what was coming: a significant pay cut, a home mortgage, as well as hefty wedding and renovation bills. In spite of these considerations, I felt that I had played my cards right and timed my career switch well enough so as to minimise the risks involved.

Growing up in a family of accountants and coming from a background in the military, life has always been centred on making calculated risks.

I was ever cognisant of the odds involved and how much uncertainty I was willing to stomach. This time, however, uncertainty chose me, and I wasn’t quite ready for it.

Week after week, my job situation remained dire as ever. After two full months of searching and filling out many applications, I did not seem to be getting anywhere.

Despite the constant encouragement from family and friends, I felt the anxiety and pressure mounting; with every new batch of applications, I fretted about my possible career options.

As responses were generally slow, I started making compromises in new applications. Maybe I should lower my expected salary? Maybe I should try a different role? Maybe a lesser-known company would land me a job faster?

But through this trying time, I came to realise that God was using this period of uncertainty to reveal to me where I was truly placing my security in.

It’s human to find comfort in certainty. We human beings crave for certainty because it’s a “safety net” which assures us that everything is going to be alright. Each day, we strive towards certainty as a manner of securing our way of life — finances, career or relationships.

In the past, even though I would say that I trust in God, deep down I already knew what my plans B and C were.

Whenever I was faced with a difficult situation, my mind would immediately find an alternative – like rerouting on Google Maps – and I would place my faith in these plans rather than in God. When it came to looking for a job, with every closed opportunity, my mind raced to find two other possible doors to open.

Even though I would say that I trust in God, deep down I already knew what my plans B and C were.

During this time of waiting (or wasting time, in my perspective), I began to ponder: What if God wanted to hold me within a period of uncertainty? If so, would I still be certain about His goodness? I certainly hadn’t planned for such a sabbatical at this stage in life. In the face of anxiety and fatigue, I withheld putting my trust in God.

Soon enough, my body caved in as I fell ill with a fever that bound me to my bed for more than a week. Unwillingly, my job search came to a grinding halt. I felt defeated. I was crestfallen after being unable to land a job and seeing how uncertain working life was turning out to be.

After all the wrestling, I sat at the feet of God one day, completely undone, and said: “Okay, I give up. I’ve exhausted all my options and I’m handing it over to You.”

In retrospect, I had to come to a place of complete surrender — mentally, spiritually and physically — before I could finally grasp what journeying with God through uncertainty meant.

In our lives, we often forget that the only certainty we should possess in life is found in God’s character because what we build with our bare hands today might not last to see another day. I have since come to understand Matthew 6:30 in greater measure: “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

It’s not wrong to desire certainty, but this certainty needs to be founded in God alone.

Certainty in God gives us an unsurpassed peace and a daily grace that helps us overcome our worldly uncertainties one day at a time. It’s only when we make that constant choice to fix our eyes on Him that we become less vulnerable to the worries of life and build our language of faith.

I had to re-learn all over again what it means to put my trust in God.

It felt as if I was learning to walk again. However, through this journey of uncertainty, I came to learn that placing my certainty in Him rather than in my own plans was refreshing.

Each day, I felt renewed grace. As I basked in God’s peace, I felt no need to constantly come up with a game plan. The same worries did not have the same stronghold on me.

A week after my turning point of surrendering everything to God, it felt as if the floodgates of opportunity suddenly swung open. Interviews started to fill my calendar and offers came knocking on my door, much faster than I had expected. It immediately struck me that I had been foolish with my life — by not trusting wholly in God, my Provider.

My season of uncertainty pointed me back to the very One whom I can find my full certainty in. If you’re currently in a precarious life situation, be it your next job, financial instability or an important decision you’ve got to make, may you find the courage and strength to surrender everything to God today. Fullness of life is certain in Him (John 10:10).

This article was first published on selah.sg and is republished with permission.