Being a cell leader for a group of secondary 4 boys is tough.

What’s even tougher is being recently told that two of my cell members have decided to leave the cell and the church altogether. The reasons they gave were that they didn’t feel they were growing spiritually and that they couldn’t connect with the people in cell.

What was really depressing about them wanting to leave cell was that they were the second and third cell members to leave in this month alone. I have been their cell leader for three years now and it wasn’t a stable one to begin with. Leaders come and go each year, but for some strange reason, I was the one constant.

I witnessed the cell shrink from about 7 to 5 members. Now we have just 2 to 3 regular members.

Most left because of community, some left because they didn’t like Christianity and some left because they didn’t like their cell leaders.

I felt both grieved and lost at the same time.

  • Was it something I said?
  • Is it because I have not been a good enough role model to them?
  • Was becoming a leader a mistake?

As I reflected hard on whether it was really because of me that they left, I realised that I have done whatever I could as their cell leader. I tried many things in the three years. I contacted their parents, actively WhatsApped them (even though I didn’t get a response most of the time) and even brought them out for meals.

I was tired. I felt I did everything that a good cell leader supposedly needed to do, so why was my cell still shrinking over the years?

Are you tired of being a cell leader?

I found myself praying fervently over why was I placed in this position. Desperate for explanations, I started to spiral and wonder that maybe, I didn’t have the right “spiritual gifting” or “leadership ability” to be a cell leader.

At that time my leaders encouraged me by saying that the decision of my cell members to leave the faith was not a failing I had to bear. For in the same way, Christ gave us free will to choose to follow Him or not.

As I heard that, what I felt changed from guilt to sadness, but I remained heartbroken for the ones who walked away from God.

As painful as it was to watch my own members leave – how much more does it pain our heavenly Father when we turn our backs on Him?

My hope and confidence can only remain in the One who knows it all and sees it all – yet still sovereignly allows these departures to happen. And all I can do is to pray for them, that they might one day come back.

In the meantime, I will be faithful and obedient to what Christ has assigned to me right now. I believe that total obedience to God is something that every Christ follower is called to — in every sphere of life.

“But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22)

Faithfulness to what He has called us to do is more important to the Lord than job scopes, titles and even ministry. God looks for willing vessels to be used by Him whether you are a writer, teacher, musician, engineer, lay leader or even a senior pastor.

The challenge is for us to be willing to take that bold step of faith to stay the path and be obedient in whatever job or ministry Christ has placed us in. Don’t give up prematurely and forfeit the opportunity to see Christ do an amazing work out of what seems to be a bleak situation.