I grew up in a Christian family.

We attended Church every Sunday, my parents taught me to pray and they read the Bible to me. Everything was smooth-sailing – until my parents got into a fight that ended their marriage when I was 10 years old.

I was thrown into confusion – I thought God did not approve of divorces? If my parents truly loved God, why would they do that? I remember pestering them for an answer. I needed to know why they could not be together anymore, why I had to choose between my dad and mum.

As they blamed each other, I learnt that my dad was guilty of an extramarital affair.

This period was too overwhelming for my mum, who fell into depression.

I don’t know how I coped. I was afraid of my mum and her emotions. Not knowing how I could help her – I distanced myself from her.

In desperate need for comfort, I became too emotionally dependent on my friends. I did anything to get attention and affirmation from them. Many of my my friendships failed: It was too exhausting to be my friend.

But the biggest issue I struggled with was that I could not bring myself to forgive my dad. Through this period, I continued to attend church where I learnt the importance of forgiveness and how to forgive. So I knew I needed to forgive my dad, but I was just unable to do so.

Even though I met up with my dad regularly, I was always reluctant to see him. Our relationship was strained and he knew it. As much as I wanted to fix it – and as much as he tried – we couldn’t fix it by ourselves.

Over the years, my relationship with God grew deeper and I started serving consistently in church. But I always carried this heaviness in my heart – a burden of unforgiveness.

One day in Church, my pastor led us in a prayer to forgive our parents. She asked us to list out all the things our parents had ever done to hurt us. We had to go down the list, pray over each item and verbally forgive our parents for the specific action that had hurt us.

Going through my mum’s list was heartbreaking as I realised that many of the things she did to me was the result of overwhelming stress. It was different for my dad’s list. It was extremely tough for me to verbally extend forgiveness to him. I took time to pray and asked God to work in my heart. After praying and asking God to help me, I was able to go back to my dad’s list, to forgive him for the things he did to me.

As I was doing so, God brought a memory to my mind: I was 10, my mum was breaking down in her room – screaming and shouting. Sobbing in fear, I ran behind the sofa. I called my dad and begged him to come home from work. He said he was busy and hung up.

No matter what situation you’re in, remember that God is always there with you. Cry out to Him and He will surely answer – He loves you more than anyone on this earth can.

Immediately, I felt the presence of God surround me. God revealed to me that I could not forgive my dad because I felt abandoned by him. When I needed him the most, my dad failed to be there for me. God then told me, “Your dad was not there for you, but I was and will always be.”

God showed me that as little 10 year-old me wept behind that sofa – He was right there with me, comforting and watching over me. I felt an indescribable release as I allowed God to minister to me. I knew there and then, that God had broken my chains and set me free.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

God led me to this psalm. He had indeed proven Himself as my refuge and strength – even while I was unaware.

My relationship with my dad has gotten so much better ever since.

I treasure the time spent with him as I no longer bear unforgiveness in my heart, and our conversations have become meaningful and filled with love. Though there may be disagreements here and there, I always remember to go back to God and allow Him into my heart.

I have grown to be dependent on God and not man; I seek affirmation from the only One who matters.

Though my life has not been one of bliss and happiness, God has still proven to be faithful and loving to me.

No matter what situation you’re in, remember that God is always there with you. Cry out to Him and He will surely answer – He loves you more than anyone on this earth can.

The author’s name has been changed to protect her privacy. This is a submission from a participant of our Greater Love Giveaway.