No amount of words can encapsulate the feeling I possess in this very moment.
I am joyful that I am at the end of my undergraduate life. But I also feel some degree of regret as there are things I haven’t achieved in university. And there is that amalgamation of anxiousness and excitement as I transit to the next phase of life.
It has been four years in university! This moment seemed so distant. Now a few exams, projects and holidays later, I am facing this reality – 19 years of my life in academia has arrived at a conclusion.
And as it starts to sink in, I wonder if I’m ready.
Somewhat, perhaps. I’ve never believed anyone can ever be 100% ready but I’m confident that university has prepared me to enter the workforce well.
A successful university education may mean stellar grades for some. To others, it might mean a greater sense of career direction or a passport to the next phase. But for me, university was a place where I learned grit, to make friends and network, and grew as a person.
Though I always gave each semester my best shot, I found that my results didn’t always match my effort. Yet I still wanted to glorify and lift God up in my life, even as my GPA was on its way down.
So I learnt grit – to keep on keeping on.
19 years of my life in academia has arrived at a conclusion … I wonder if I’m ready.
I have met so many people here. I’ve reconnected with old friends, I’ve made new ones. Some of them have become a lot closer to me, leaving their footprints on the sands of my heart.
Friendships taught me a lot and showed me new perspectives of companionship. I have learnt to not overshare, and to determine the depth of my friendships. Most aren’t as comfortable at sharing as I am, and that’s OK – I have learnt to respect that.
So God has grown me into a much more emotionally mature person. He has helped me to conquer the fears of my past, surrounded me with good friends and encouraging professors. Jesus really has been with me these last 4 years.
I have learnt to love myself more. I’ve learnt to speak firmly but gently when I feel that people are out of line. More importantly, I have learnt to forgive and to choose each battle carefully.
God has grown me in empathy, to love those who I once thought were unlovable. In humility, I’ve begun to see them in a new light. It means so much to be someone’s confidant and to be able to share heart-to-heart.
All these things would have been out of reach had God not dealt with my insecurities and my past.
I started my university life being so jealous of other people who I thought were smart and good-looking.
I refused to befriend them because I thought poorly of myself. I thought that they had no need for me – people who were in a league of their own. But I forgot that they were also people with real problems too. So God taught me how to care for them and love them too.
God used my story, painful as it was, to give hope to the friends I shared it with. It was worthwhile because He made me a more effective listener and a friend. And God has made me a lot bolder. Now I dare to actually try new things rather than just sit on ideas.
Finding my passion in Him, I’ve become passionate for other things in life like working in sales, volunteering at events, attending camps, and serving in various roles. Through these activities, I learnt what I like and dislike and what I’m good or bad at. Now I have a clearer picture of what I can and want to do in the future as I step into the great unknown.
Jesus really has been with me these last 4 years.
Tomorrow is a winding, narrow road with tall hills and valleys. But I have accepted that challenges are a part of life. Growth is continual and my Lord is eternal.
If He is for me, who shall be against me?