Reading this article, I was struck by how much it resonated with my dating journey: the situation doesn’t look good and I’m often in low spirits.

To keep things brief, I have been dabbling with dating apps for over a year which has landed me in a perpetual cycle of expectations, conversations, dates and finally โ€” rejection.

It’s been chaotic and a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions, though it’s also been filled with lessons and growth.

Recently in my life, a date-turned-friend decided to walk away due to certain personal reasons. I found myself grieving the loss of her company as we had shared a close journey together that I truly valued.

In the time that followed, I second-guessed myself constantly as to whether I should have said something better.

Maybe if I withheld constructive feedback, I could have saved the friendship. Thoughts just like that came rushing towards me like a tsunami wave and consumed me for days.

I was torn because I believed God had prompted me to speak to her using my gifts and discernment. I pointed out some blind spots in her life only to find out that doing so would come with repercussions โ€” this friend of mine packed up and left.

I was wounded deeply and I had to spend time speaking to God about it.

Anyway, this article comes along and reminds me: do the next right thing. For me, that means to grieve, mourn and let go.

And that proved to be exceptionally difficult over the week. Eventually, I felt I had to run away and go somewhere in solitude just to seek the Lord.

And so that’s what I did, by heading to Johor Bahru. I relaxed and went to “Instagram-worthy” places like cafes. I also attended a church service and hung out with fellow believers there too!

Nevertheless, I still felt this sense of foreboding. It was a very strange discomfort that didn’t go away.

I was trying to find out why I had that feeling, but at that moment I couldn’t find an answer (it also didn’t help that I had a horrible sleep that night too; I had not been sleeping well for months).

Fast forward to Resurrection Sunday.

I went back to my church, Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Church and worship just hit me. Really hard.

I realised I was still grieving over the loss of my friendships.

As we worshipped, I cried out to the Lord and poured my burdens out before Him.

And at that point, I felt God speak a message of encouragement to me.

I wept. I cried through all five songs. The whole set. That was the first time I actually cried in years.

God was ministering to me.

Right now, I’m calm as I have mostly come to accept the fact that certain people whom I hoped for, connected with, vibed with or invested in have left or are leaving.

I value my friendships and relationships, but I release them to the Lord.

It’s a long, painful and lonely journey. Though I face setbacks as I walk through this seemingly unfruitful season of dating, I am growing and learning afresh what it means to love as God first loved us.

Thank God that He loves me! I feel that He is calling me to share His love in forgiveness and grace to others โ€” to continue loving my neighbours as myself.

I am reminded to remain in community. I am remaining hopeful thatย with every closed door, God will open another.

  1. Dating fatigue? What are some ways you can tell it might be time to take a break?
  2. What are some of God’s promises you can stand on in difficult seasons?
  3. This week, memorise one and meditate on it through the week. Reflect at the end of the week how it made you feel.