Pulau Tekong is located just off Singapore’s northeastern coast. Some would say that the worst part of being in Tekong is the distance from civilisation. Others would say it was the food from the cookhouse.

To me, the worst part was how close it is to Changi Airport. Not only did this mean it was horrendously far from my house, it also meant that we were frequently greeted by planes zooming above our heads to some faraway country as we marched, we sedia-ed (stood at attention) and trained to be soldiers to fight for our land.

Trusting and letting go

For a long time, I just wanted a life that was nothing but regular, not “Anything But Regular” like the the Army Recruitment Centre’s (ARC) slogan proclaims.

I felt that nothing was keeping me in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) other than God. I saw how He led me through the entire application process, opening doors, guiding me with advice from friends who have walked similar paths, and allowing everything to fall into place so I passed my health screening to be deemed combat fit.

But other than that, everything sucked. Each plane that flew over Tekong reminded me of the freedom I lacked.

At times, I also felt that I had been scammed. My expectations to get “seven hours of uninterrupted rest” didn’t line up with my lack of sleep. The seniors who told me that serving was “really fun” didn’t emphasise the other parts like getting used to regimentation and discipline as a recruit.

Each Sunday, I felt a sense of dread and trepidation knowing that I would need to book in again. Exhausted and missing home, I asked God constantly, “What do you want me to do here? Why should I even stay?”

To be fair, the boys were forced to be there too, but this was a rite of passage for all Singaporean sons and a common topic for them.

On the other hand, my friends were having the time of their lives enjoying their holidays in Malaysia, China, South Korea, Japan and Taiwan while I was stuck in Budget Resort Island away from the comforts and joys of civilian life.

But even when I complained and doubted God, His guiding hands were there every step of the way, constantly reminding me of His presence.

The outfield stars, Tekong’s forests, R Coy sunrises and sunsets reminded me of the glory and beauty of His works. He placed people around me who supported me along the way – family and friends brought me fellowship, valuable advice and pointed me back to God.

One devotional I read while in Tekong also struck me. It was on Matthew 8:23-27, when Jesus calmed the storm.

I was like one of the disciples, tossing and turning in the boat throughout the storm. Like them, I also forgot that Jesus was always on the boat, and lacked the faith to believe that He would calm the storm and lead the way.

God constantly reminded me that He was there in every page of my life. All I had to do was to trust God!

At the end of the day, the day ends

The journey hasn’t gotten any easier after progressing from BMT to OCS. I’m now in a platoon of 34 guys and 2 girls, and the environment is much different from BMT where we were all girls. The training pace is faster, responsibilities are greater.

No matter how much I sleep, I still can’t seem to recover in time for the next activity. There are still many days when I look at my friends outside and think to myself: “Why on earth did I sign on?”

But I’ve also learnt that comparison is the thief of joy.

Rather than think about the things I’m missing out on, perhaps it would be better to take the time to appreciate and be grateful to walk in both worlds: I can appreciate the joys of army life every weekday, and civilian life every weekend.

And at the end of the darkest of days, I know that I can get through it with God’s grace!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Ultimately, this is just my experience in SAF, which has only just begun.

Whether you are enlisting soon as an NSF or thinking of signing on as a regular, I’d like for you to remember this quote that I heard during my BMT days: “At the end of the day, the day ends”.

No matter how bad the day is, the sun will rise again. Take each new day as a new beginning, and seek your strength from the Lord. Trust that He will lead the way!