Three years ago around this time, I travelled to the UK to begin my undergraduate studies in history. In this letter, I reflect on some of the things I wish I’d known with hindsight.

I hope this letter can be of some encouragement to those who are starting university this semester – whether in Singapore or overseas. The journey won’t always turn out the way you expect it to, but just remember that no one has it all figured out in their early 20s. And that’s okay! ☺

Dear Me,

Right now you’re probably anxiously sitting in the departure hall of Changi Airport, waiting to board the flight that will take you to a new school, a new life.

As you watch your fellow passengers shuffle in, you run over your hopes and fears in your head: you hope that you’ll make good friends (you will), that your tutors will be kind (you’ve already met John and he’s wonderful) and that your room will be nice (it’s lovely — but remember not to leave your bag by the open window). 

Very little of what you envision for your university life will go according to plan. 

Your aspirations start off small, but as you begin to settle in, they will swell. A well-intentioned senior will inform you – only half jokingly – that everyone hopes to leave university with either a Blue (an athletic achievement), a First (Class Honours) or a spouse.

You’ve never been much of an athlete so you immediately dismiss the first item on that list. And it’s only your first year as a university student so you file a “First” off as a problem for future you.

As for a spouse, marriage still feels like a long way off… But wouldn’t it be nice to find that special someone among the dreaming spires? 

I should warn you that very little of what you envision for your university life will go according to plan. 

You plan to learn Spanish but then discover Netflix and spend your free time binging Jane the Virgin instead. 

You think that the tutorial system will whip you into the shape of a fearless debater, but final year you is still as afraid of public speaking as the 16-year-old who left the Model UN Conference early to avoid having to deliver her speech. 

Envy and frustration will wind themselves around your neck and choke the joy out of university life at times, but you will learn to count your blessings, too. 

You spend much of your final year stressing about how you’re possibly going to memorise all the information you need for your final exams, only to end up sitting them at home, with your books open in front of you. 

You and your flatmates throw a small party on the final night of Spring term in case it’s the last time you see each other — though no one seriously believes that at the time. You wake up one morning three weeks later in a world now firmly in the grip of the coronavirus and thank God that you did. 

You meet a guy and wonder if he’ll be The One. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but those late-night meetings don’t evolve into dates, and this friendship doesn’t blossom into the romance you hope for.

But you will learn to value platonic love just as much as its romantic counterpart, and when you both hang out at a hawker centre three years down the road, you’ll still be glad he walked into your life. 

See, part of the fun of university, as you will soon come to learn, is learning to embrace the uncertainty.

Just roll with the punches and put your trust in a Creator whose vision stretches far beyond the deepest recesses of your imagination. Remember that he has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

So do not fear. I know, I know – that’s easier said than done. Even now, I can’t say for certain that I’ve fully learnt to let go but, hey, growing is a lifelong process, right?

Just try not to let the company you keep get to you. As you watch your friends tick off the boxes in their own lists of life goals, your dissatisfaction will only grow.

Envy and frustration will wind themselves around your neck and choke the joy out of university life at times, but you will learn to count your blessings, too. 

Just roll with the punches and put your trust in a Creator.

As you walk home across the bridge at dusk, take in the beautiful sunset in front of you, the birds calling in the trees, the tolling of the bell tower in the distance.

Most importantly, remember to give thanks: be grateful for the opportunities you’ve been given, the people you’ve met, and the life you still have to live. 

After all, what’s the rush? Your British friends in church might be getting married at 22, but you’re Singaporean and don’t even have enough in your bank account at the moment to make up the BTO downpayment anyway! 

So just let Jesus take the wheel, and enjoy the ride. 

Best wishes (you will start signing off every email like this soon),
Future you

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