Say real: self-denial isn’t fun.

Recently, my youth group had post-service fellowship at the National Stadium like we usually do. Many others from my church were there too, it was a bustling sight of familiar strangers. 

Being the introvert that I was, I felt perfectly content sticking to my close friend throughout the evening. However, I knew that there was a need to step out of my shell and get to know others who were present. 

With fellow believers gathered together, this was a prime time for precious fellowship. But social interaction sounded so tiring to me at that moment. 

I shared my inertia to my church leader who had noticed my reluctance. Then with a sympathetic smile, he told me: “We need to die to ourselves, Woon.”

Indeed we do. So with a sigh, I went up to someone new. By the grace of God, we ended up having an open and refreshing conversation that energised me rather than drained me. 

Self-denial in that moment wasn’t easy nor fun, but it was the right thing to do and it turned out to be rewarding.

So it is, for other moments that call for self-denial. They will be difficult, but ultimately rewarding.

Living as Christ’s slave (and other Bright ideas)

In Mark 8:34, Jesus says “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” 

Denying ourselves goes beyond simply denying our desires.

In fact, I daresay denying ourselves is equivalent to choosing to give up our rights and live as a slave to Christ.

Pretty intense, right?

One way I can properly help us understand this idea is this article about Bill Bright by his son, Brad Bright. 

Just like Paul (Romans 1:1, NLT) and Peter (2 Peter 1:1, NLT), Bill Bright declared himself a slave of Jesus by choice. He willingly gave up his rights to wholeheartedly follow Jesus.

When we talk about “rights”, we aren’t talking about human rights, voting rights or anything of that sort. We’re talking about autonomous freedom. 

Instead of living life however they pleased, these slaves of Christ surrendered their lives wholly to God. They understood that they were not their own (Romans 14:7-8).

And ironically, by giving up their rights, they would experience true freedom.

“A slave of Jesus is at peace, no matter the circumstances, because he can completely trust his good and faithful Master.”

These lines from the article sum it up quite nicely: “A slave doesn’t have rights. A slave doesn’t own what he pours his life blood into.

“A slave of Jesus is at peace, no matter the circumstances, because he can completely trust his good and faithful Master.”

From the article, Bill Bright himself said:

“I am a slave of Jesus. It is not the slave’s responsibility to be successful. The only responsibility of a slave is to do what the Master asks him to do. When you understand this, you also understand that a slave doesn’t have problems; a slave only has opportunities to see the Master work.”

The part I bolded was what changed my perspective completely. It’s true. If we are as slaves to Christ, we own nothing. Everything belongs to God.

As such, there’s no way for us to lose or gain anything in this world. All we need to do is abide in our Father’s will, and see His plans come into fruition.

By completely denying ourselves, we set ourselves free from the bondages of sin and the desires of the flesh.

We give up our old lives to find a new life of freedom, peace and joy in Christ (Matthew 16:25).

Brad Bright, Bill Bright’s son and the author of the article, reflected upon his father’s life in this manner:

“What was the result of being a slave of Jesus for over 50 years? A life filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness. A life of incredible purpose and vision. A life free of fear, anxiety and the pressures of the world.

“We are all slaves to something or someone. As Bob Dylan opined, ‘Ya gotta serve somebody.” It’s not a popular thought but it is reality. There is only One person I want to be enslaved to. My dad showed me the way.”

One way or another, we are all bonded to something or someone.

I see no better way to live my life than to be bonded wholly to God, who is perfect (Matthew 5:48), who will never forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8) and who loves unconditionally.

One way or another, we are all bonded to something or someone.

At this point, you might be wondering: “How did we get from an introvert’s struggle with meeting new people, to choosing to be a slave?”

Well, that’s because…

… self-denial starts small

The way dying to self actually works is quite simple: just start small.

First, if God wills it, allow yourself to be put in an uncomfortable position like plucking up the courage to talk to a stranger when you’d really rather be laughing with a close friend. 

Through these little “sacrifices” we make, God prunes our heart and attunes it to His.

We then begin to catch His heart for our lives. As we obey and trust God, He prepares us for something greater. 

Eventually, I believe a “tidal wave” will come: a rare opportunity that promises immense benefits is handed to us from the world. No sane person would say no to it. 

How we make our decision then boils down to how faithfully we’ve been obeying God in the little things.

It depends on what we truly prize as most worthy to invest in (Matthew 6:21).

Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard testimonies of friends in university who gave up the opportunity to go overseas to study, so that they could stay and build God’s church. 

One decided to opt out of the overseas exchange programme that almost every other university student looks forward to.

Another forwent an opportunity to study for his Master’s degree overseas that would have been fully paid for.

Both denied themselves of these opportunities as they wanted to be on the ground and commit to serving God’s people as youth leaders. 

They were convicted that staying was God’s will for them, and they denied themselves to obey and serve Him.

You could write up a list of pros and cons when it comes to accepting a good opportunity.

The reasons to say yes may take up an entire page, while the reasons to say no may just be a simple one-liner “because I want to obey God”.

When my tidal wave comes, I hope to obey God.

After all, isn’t that all that matters? Saying yes to God is far more important and fulfilling than anything else we can ever say yes to. 

“…a slave doesn’t have problems; a slave only has opportunities to see the Master work.”

If we don’t obey God to be a little uncomfortable at the start, we won’t obey God to deny ourselves completely in the future.