I’ll call you back later.

You know how it is. You receive a surprise call from an insurance agent or some random salesperson, and you just want to get yourself out of it. There are more important things for me to do. I cook up excuses to put the phone down, and make a mental note of the number so I don’t pick it up again.

I’ll catch up with you soon.

When you bump into friends on the street, you always part with the words “meet up soon”. You both know that these meet-ups have a 0.00001% chance of becoming reality. Soon never really comes, because we are always busy. But really it’s a matter of priorities: I will find you when I am free, which is, like, never.

I’ll find you when I need you.

This was my relationship with God.

I was taking Him for granted. Whenever I was busy, God took a backseat. I approached God only when I need His help.

I began to view Him as my power bank. I only plugged in when I was running low. Once recharged, I disconnected, said bye, went off to do whatever I was going to do.

I was still going for church services week after week, still working my way through daily devotion. But I didn’t have a heart that was desperate for God. I simply went through the motions.

(The truth is, there is absolutely nothing that I can do without Him. Everything that I have and can do is only possible by His grace. I do not only need His divine intervention during hard times. But how the heart forgets.)

I’ll find you when I’m free.

I have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year, just like everyone else. How will I use that specific and finite amount of time?

I’d like to think I look for God whenever I’m free. But free never comes because I constantly fill my schedule with appointments and things to do. And even if I’m free according to my planner, my mind is often cluttered with worries, things I need to do, people I want to talk to.

These thoughts clutter God out of the picture. It really doesn’t take much.

Until …

One day, God wasn’t there when I asked for help. It wrecked me. I felt abandoned. I didn’t know what to do. I started panicking and broke down.

Then He spoke again.

In His gentle whisper, He said, “I am always here for you, but are you always here for me?”

If I say that God is my friend and that He loves me, would He say the same things about me? Considering how I had been treating Him? With my lips I may have professed that I loved God, but my life did not
mirror that.

Simply put, I was not prioritising Him in my life. I was not making time for Him. Having access to God all the time made me take Him for granted.

It’s so easy to make God wait. It’s tempting to treat God like a genie in a bottle. But there is more to this relationship with Him. He longs to be more than just someone who answers occasional prayers.

Catch you soon, God. Promise.