When I graduated from medical school in 2007, the plan at that time was to become a general practitioner. But then I became pregnant with our first child, Josiah – and I struggled with whether I should work part-time or simply quit and become (gasp) a housewife.
Where would I best serve the Lord?
After much praying, I felt He was calling me to quit medicine. And at first, I tried to reason this calling away, but the Lord impressed upon me that my husband and I should be the ones bringing our child up in the Lord. It was our primary responsibility, not to be delegated to the grandparents or maid or child-care workers.
I knew that time with children is short – once you miss the boat, you miss it forever. Whereas with work, you can always get back to it to some degree when the kids are older.
I knew that often we talk about quality time – but in reality, children don’t do quality time, they do quantity time. I knew we usually say that most things are caught not taught – but time is still needed before anyone can catch anything. I also knew that where I was not influencing my child, someone else would be influencing them, impressing upon them values and standards.
I felt to do these things well, it would be easier to quit work completely. I believed that investing myself wholly to love and care for this child is what the Lord wanted me to do.
And so I quit.
It was definitely not easy, as I discovered my identity was very much in being a doctor. I was too proud, too insecure to be a housewife. However, I realised that if I truly am a servant of Christ, then I should be willing to do anything He asks me to, no matter how poorly-paid (or, frankly, unpaid!) or unrecognised that job may be.
I have heard many comments over the years about the choice I’ve made. Some have said about my medical education, “Oh, what a waste of time and money” – but I don’t agree. In fact, I think it would be a waste if I didn’t take the opportunity to be there for the wonderful children the Lord has blessed me with.
Some have also suggested that the Lord could use me as doctor in the mission field – I agree that He could, but somehow, He didn’t seem to call me do that.
I also knew that where I was not influencing my child, someone else would be influencing them, impressing upon them values and standards.
Others have said more pointedly that I can serve the Lord better as a doctor, healing and witnessing to the sick, but I believe that caring for little ones is also a very important form of work for the Lord, with eternal implications.
As Elisabeth Elliot once said, “Because there is so much encouragement from both the world and the church for mothers to get out of the house and find something ‘fulfilling’, I have tried to lay more weight on the commands of Titus 2:3-5, believing this is to be God’s best”.
Please understand that I’m not saying that all mothers should not work, but I’m simply sharing how the Lord, in my circumstance, has called me to become a housewife – and I see that as a valid way of working for Jesus.
Being a homemaker, I have to constantly remind myself that I am really serving the Lord Christ. Most days, I don’t feel like I accomplish much: Nothing ground-breaking, nothing that would change the world.
I wake up, feed children, dress children, clean up mess, send kids to school, do laundry, answer the pre-schooler who never stops asking questions, try to fix a broken toy … such mundanity may drive some to despair, but even in these things I learn that as I serve my husband and the little ones, I am serving the Lord.
And so I try to work with a joyful heart, trusting that even in this, the Lord can make me a better Christian, more like Jesus.
Staying at home gives me the precious opportunity to be there with the children 24/7, to teach them about Daddy in Heaven and Jesus, to try my best to be a godly example, to love them as much as I can, so that they can have a little idea of how much the Lord loves them.
All children are ultimately His, and only loaned to us for a short time before they grow up. When I realise how the Lord has entrusted me with these precious souls, how much influence I have over them, and how little time I really have, I cannot help but be thankful that He’s given me this very special job.
In case you have the weird impression that I am this perfect Christian housewife, smiling all the time, singing hymns, cooking wonderful food, ever gentle and tender towards her family … I’m not. There are many days when I’m exhausted, when I feel grumpy, when I shout at the kids, when I don’t want to be servant-hearted.
When I go to school reunions, and am in a sea of bankers, lawyers, doctors and policy-makers, I wish I didn’t have to be a housewife … it really makes me feel small.
But each time I come back to Jesus and remind myself that Jesus has died for me, that He is risen, that I am waiting for His return, that I am well loved by Him, that He is the best boss, that what I do here matters to Him, that my Father in Heaven dotes over me.
And that is what gives me the strength to keep working in this job time and time again.