I’ve recently graduated from university.
And I’m still just an intern. While everyone else has settled into their new full-time jobs, my bitter self is working through the days with lamentations and grumbling: “Why, God?”
In my prayer and quiet time, I remember breaking down in frustration before God. I seemed satisfied with my life on the outside, but I still felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
When you are looking for a job, you want the process over with as soon as possible.
You want to get back into a routine. You want to be able to say something other than “I’m between jobs,” or worse, “I’m interning”.
People start giving you strange looks and comments like, “Oh, why aren’t you employed yet?” or “Huh, I thought university grad should be able to get a job easily?”
Receiving these questions in the past 3 months of my internship has been hurtful, and they have caused me to doubt the season that God has placed me in.
I began to lament being labelled as “the intern”.
The first month into my internship wasn’t so bad. I was excited about the opportunity as it’s quite a prestigious company, with international tie-ups and networks.
I even prayed and told God that I didn’t care about getting a full-time job since I wasn’t particularly hard up for money. In fact, I was happy because the workplace valued my capabilities and offered me opportunities not usually reserved for interns.
However, as days passed, I began to lament being labelled as “the intern”. It made me feel small, and insignificant. I felt like I was not maximising my potential. It made me feel like what I was doing was menial and unimportant.
In a twist of events, I was recently scouted out and received not just job interviews – but job offers from 3 different companies!
I was elated at first and thought these were open doors from God. However, when I sought the Lord, He responded: “Wait. I have placed you there for a reason.”
My heart sank when I heard that from Him, because I knew that I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to disobey Him. I knew it was my place.
I had been interceding for the office for the past 3 months. I would usually reach the office 1.5 hours before reporting time to pray, worship and intercede for my colleagues. After being positioned in this workplace, I knew my heart was beginning to change.
He was softening my heart for others. He was opening my eyes to His heart toward others. I knew the main goal of this internship wasn’t exactly receiving a full-time job. It was about someone else’s salvation.
God was also teaching me the importance of being faithful in the small things I’ve been entrusted with. I was learning what working to glorify Him in my workplace and in my life looks like.
In Matthew 25:14-31, we read that a worker was given five talents; he traded them and doubled what he had. Another was given two talents and gained two more, but the one with one talent dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
To the first two, the master said, “Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21, 23).
But in verses 24-29, we see what the master said to the one who buried his money: “For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.”
What does this mean for our lives? God rewards those who are faithful with the small things and faithful in that which they have been given. He is pleased when we diligently exercise our talents and gifts for His glory.
So whether I am an intern or a CEO, life is about how I am doing the little things. What is my heart’s posture? God wants us to be faithful with the little things and opportunities that are before us.
If I want to be a filmmaker, and the only opportunity for me to learn how to be one starts with making coffee – then I need to make the best coffee and have it brewing early and properly.
We do not get to do what we want automatically, immediately. God knows where we are gifted, and when we are faithful to serve where He tells us to, He will see that (and allow others to see it too) and may give us even more opportunities.
David’s time in the pasture got his heart’s posture and spirit right with God. It got him ready to slay Goliath. When was the last time we were in the pasture before God?
David started by faithfully doing the little things, day in and day out, regardless of whether he wanted to do them or not. We don’t know if tending his flock was something David wanted to do. But we do know he was faithful to the task that he had been assigned. And we know that he spent time with God, and was a faithful steward.
We often try to circumvent the very process that would mold and equip us for the next level God is taking us to.
As a goal-oriented person, I used to not value the importance of the process. I prized efficiency as the main goal, forgetting that my priority should be sanctification – being conformed to the image of Christ.
One thing is for sure: I can never out-plan God. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. His ways are higher than my ways.
In my frustration and feeling entitled to something better, I found that God has been working up a dependence in me that makes me desperate to cling to Him and His word. I have never been so consistent in my reading of the Word, for He has cultivated in me a new love for His Word.
There is now a thirst for Him in the waiting.
We often try to circumvent the very process that would mold and equip us for the next level God is taking us to.
I don’t know how long this season is going to last, but I am not going to see this as a transitional one. Instead, I will embrace this season and learn as much as I can from it.
If I am positioned here, there must be a purpose and a reason. I do not want to miss the reason for this season. There must be something more.
So waiting is not always a curse. In my case, I have seen how God has worked through and in my waiting. God is more concerned about my best interests than my happiness. And that is a good thing. He is aligning my heart to see that maximum holiness is maximum happiness in Him.
I stopped worrying because I know my God is a God who meets me at every point in my life – especially in the little things.