Everyone said exchange would be a piece of cake: confirm pass, can’t fail. But that wasn’t the case for me.

During my exchange semester in South Korea at Yonsei University, I decided to take a total of 6 modules. They would all be credited as pass/fail modules anyway, so I figured I might as well take more so that I wouldn’t have to worry during my last semester back in NTU.

I opted for 1 mathematics module, 3 economics modules, 1 liberal arts elective and 1 business elective. I thought the examination requirements were manageable, so I didn’t worry much.

When the midterm period came round, I studied normally just like how I would have studied for any other midterm in NTU. I thought that would be fine because I just needed to pass the midterms.

Out of the 6 modules, I had a midterm for everything except the liberal arts module (just a presentation for this instead). And because the economics modules were all theory-based, I assumed I could just write something that made sense related to the theory, so I didn’t put in that much effort.

However, when the midterms came, I came out of every midterm feeling depressed. One of the economics module was a total shocker: the lecture notes were all theory, but the midterm was all calculations! I couldn’t do most of it … all I could do was pray for a miracle.

Because I was failing everything.

I recall trying to finish one of my assignments before church service on Friday night.

 

I was really struggling, googling books and answers, but nothing was helping. I had agreed to do street evangelism with my church friends, but I was still stuck on the assignment.

 

So I told them to go ahead without me because I had to finish my work. And even after they had evangelised for more than an hour, I still had nothing written on my paper. I thought I was screwed because all the Korean students would have solved it and submitted long answers … but mine would just be a blank piece of paper.

 

Funny thing was, I attempted the question again a few days later and finished it in 20mins. Seriously?! I could have done street evangelism with my friends instead of wasting that time away. I should have trusted in God’s providence of time and wisdom, but I relied on my own will.

 

This made me question what happened to my reliance on God. Because just a month ago, I also had to choose between a school assignment and church. Even though my church leaders told me to focus on my studies, I decided to rely on God’s time and wisdom to complete my assignment.

I got 92/100 for that assignment … How could I forget that?

I realised that God doesn’t bless me because I serve Him. He blesses me because He wants to.

As the finals approached, I started to redo my notes and past papers and attended consultations.

I spent so much of my time studying at cafes that cafe owners recognised me. I tried to plan my time better like waking up earlier to study – or studying between church events.

I tried my best to juggle studying and serving at church because I didn’t want to stop helping out at church just because of my grades (I only had to pass, after all). I really believed in what God was doing in South Korea and I wanted to be a part of it as much as I could before I left.

On the day that scores were released on the school portal, I saw that only 2 of my 6 modules had scores posted. I knew that the scores were not the final grades I would be receiving, but they were indicators if I was going to pass or fail the module.

And it wasn’t looking good. I felt so screwed when I saw my results: 18/100 for Public Finance and 8.5/100 for Money and Banking. My parents would flip if I couldn’t graduate on time because I failed my modules! I tried to play it cool but I was panicking inside.

All that was left was to trust in God’s providence though everything looked impossible. How was God going to help me pass in this situation?