“God, I can’t do this. Are you sure you want me to? Really, really sure?”

That was my anxious plea the first time someone asked me to play the piano for Church service.

But I had barely passed my piano examinations, was struggling with all the flats and sharps in the Kids Church songbook, and played Rejoice in the Lord Always like a funeral march. I hadn’t learnt how to improvise on the piano either, and playing for service required that skill.

Oh, and did I mention it was for Chinese service? And my command of Mandarin … I could barely even order my cai fan (mixed rice)! Each time at the stall I would be reduced to gestures and simple words.

So how was I to understand what the pastor was preaching? How would I know when to repeat the chorus? Plus, sound systems are notoriously poor for the people on stage. How was I, a half-deaf girl, to catch the cues and know what was going on?

A half-deaf, struggling pianist lacking in language skills. What a CV for a Church pianist, eh? I wouldn’t have “hired” myself – but that’s how God rolls.

God doesn’t call us to kingdom work because we have the best qualifications or skills. In the upside-down logic of our awesome God, He has “chosen the foolish things to confound the wise” (1 Corinthians 1:27).

Fast forward a couple of years, and I was playing for the main English service.

The scariest bit about playing in service is the offertory, because it’s a solo performance and everyone can hear every single mistake made. I played Jesus Loves Me This I Know, and a little child sang out loud until she was shushed by a mortified parent.

What I learnt was that through the simple music I played, God was encouraging even the little children to think about the words.

God doesn’t call us to kingdom work because we have the best qualifications or skills.

A few years later, I was asked to lead the Children’s Choir. Let’s just say there was a bit of a discipline issue – Kids Church leaders always had a ready supply of lozenges. And after that journey, I was tasked with leading the Adults’ Choir – these folks were old enough to be my parents and teachers! 

Each week, I’d go into the choir sessions thinking, “I can’t do this”. I was young, had little experience – I had no idea how to manage or teach people. And yet God chose me to be His instrument. Through my weaknesses, He showed His patience and love for all.

He could have called anyone else, but He chose a half-deaf girl’s music to draw others closer to Him.

Years later, I was in a different church, playing the piano and teaching the choir – in Mandarin.

As if leading a group of teens, adults and grandparents wasn’t enough … Now I had to do all of the above in Mandarin!

God, siao liao. Why put this kentang to torture the Chinese choir?

But of course, God had other plans and I served there for 5 years. With much help in translation from the younger ones in the choir, God ministered to all of us.

Today, I am a much more experienced church pianist. But I have not forgotten the “miracles” that God brought about in my life’s ministry.

Without God, it would have done no good to grit my teeth and get down to things. Without God, it would have been impossible to touch others’ hearts with a simple children’s song. Without God, I could not have gone on playing the piano and teaching songs week after week. Without God, my work and ministry would have been powerless.

My life speaks of the upside-down logic of a powerful God. What does yours sound like?