How would a 19-year-old react when he finds out that he is adopted? That is what I went through two years ago during a conflict with my family, when I discovered that I was adopted.

From birth, I grew up in what I thought was my biological family. Throughout my childhood, I noticed that I was visibly different from my parents — especially in terms of my skin tone. 

During primary school, my friends would often tease me by asking if I was adopted, because of my skin colour. I would sometimes wonder if it was true, but it remained just a lingering thought at the back of my mind, one that was never confirmed.

When I was 19, I was juggling a lot of commitments, including school and church activities. I often stayed up late to finish assignments. One night, while my parents were away, I got into a heated argument with a family member while I was doing my assignments.

I felt accused and misunderstood, which led to a panic attack. 

During that period, my relationship with my family was already strained, and the argument only intensified my anger and bitterness towards them.

I remembered punching the walls of my room and pushing my family members aside in frustration. After that, I packed my bags and decided to leave home, leaving a note on the table that said I was leaving and not coming back anymore.

In the meantime, I stayed with a church that offered me a place. I felt conflicted and questioned my own identity. I felt like a hypocrite because at church, I was leading a group of youths and teaching them about godly values. But at home, I was struggling with my own family, finding it hard to love and be patient with them.

I was praying to God in that church, when a vision came to me. In the vision, there was a baby left on the streets, and I felt certain that the baby was me. However, I couldn’t fully comprehend and understand the meaning of the vision.

When my parents discovered I wasn’t coming home, my mum called me and we argued about my decision to leave home.

That phone call eventually led me to ask them if I was adopted because they were always so protective over me.

I was shocked when my mum reluctantly confirmed that I was indeed adopted. This confirmation was both startling and relieving to me, as it addressed the many questions that had lingered in my mind all this time. 

We then had a call with the rest of my family, during which I heard the story of my adoption. They shared with me about my origins and explained how they adopted me from Myanmar. 

Back then, babies were often left on the streets, and I was one of them who ended up in the adoption centre. It was surprising, as that was just like the vision I had.

My parents recounted to me that while they were in Myanmar to visit relatives, they had no intention of adopting a child. However, due to difficulties with conception, they were persuaded to visit the adoption centre, where they found me.

They admitted that they had been afraid to tell me about my origins because they feared I might not see them as my parents anymore. As I listened, I felt a mix of emotions. 

Despite the tears, I was amazed by how God had impressed upon their hearts to adopt me and how He had orchestrated the circumstances to bring us together as a family.

After the call, I wept for hours on my bed. It was a different kind of feeling. I did not feel a sense of abandonment from my biological parents – I felt immense gratitude for the fact that God went through all that to find me. 

I began to see God’s intimate involvement in my life and realised that even though I was meant to be on the streets, God brought me here to Singapore for a purpose. 

Through it all, I felt the Lord saying, “Jaryl, don’t ever say your life is without purpose. Look at what I have done to bring you to Singapore. I set your feet on higher ground, and now you know Me.”

Any fear or doubt I had was overwhelmed by God’s sovereign and amazing love for me.

In the end, I came back home to my parent’s outstretched arms. This was only possible with love and forgiveness. I assured my parents that I was okay with the news, and that I was captivated by the love that they had given me. 

I am grateful for this life that God has given me. I know life would be so different if not for God, as I would be in a completely different place living a completely different life. 

Yes, I am adopted – and I am fully confident that it doesn’t change who I am in God, who calls me His own.