The importance of spiritual compatibility cannot be understated in a relationship. 

To define it simply, spiritual compatibility is when a guy and a girl in a relationship share similar levels of passion and devotion to Christ, and share similar values in their faith. 

What does this compatibility look like? 2 Corinthians 6:14 and the idea of being “equally yoked” would give us a great idea.

A yoke is what joins two oxen meant to carry a cart together. If one ox is pulling in a different direction or more strongly than the other, then the oxen pair would be unable to carry the cart well. They would be moving in two different directions.

Likewise, if a faithful, committed Christian ends up with someone who is lukewarm towards God – let alone someone who doesn’t even believe in God – their values would be fundamentally opposed.

Should the Christian unwisely choose to be in such a relationship, he or she would face an uphill struggle to win their partner over to God, and undoubtedly put their own faith at risk.

So, we need to value being equally yoked. But many of us can be tempted to alter the definition of “Christian” for our own desires, by thinking of it as someone who:

• … I will one day bring to church
• … is open to Christianity
• … at least believes God exists
• … is willing to listen and be respectful

The problem is, definitions like these only serve as excuses for us to pursue what we desire.

If you are a true follower of Jesus, your worldview, priorities and values are going to differ greatly from someone who does not believe. That is something that we cannot compromise on and “close one eye” for, as we search for a partner. 

Having parents who are in an interfaith marriage themselves, I know firsthand that it takes a lot of compromise, patience and understanding to even tolerate each other’s difference in priorities.

It takes a lot not to antagonise the other party for his or her choices. I know that divergent paths in life can cause a couple to face endless debate and strife. 

That’s why spiritual compatibility with your partner is so important. When a couple is on the same page when it comes to God, they have unity and are set to flourish in life together.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, Paul says it plainly not to get tangled up in fellowship with unbelievers. 

This isn’t a warning for us to limit our circle to Christian friends only, it is a caution for Christians not to enter into any kind of partnership that might lead to idolatry. 

And those with God, and those without God – they are simply incompatible for one another in the context of a romantic relationship. To say otherwise is to deceive ourselves. 

In a relationship between disciples of Jesus, it is God who leads a couple to grow together, through His Word and direction over their lives. That is something that doesn’t happen when you get together with someone who doesn’t walk with God.

While the person “weaker” in their faith could possibly be inspired by their partner and come to strengthen his own faith, it is more likely for the one trying to move things uphill to be dragged down herself.

Indeed, it is much harder for one party to swim upstream and play “catch-up” than it is for two parties to drift downstream together.

Unequally yoked couples who later both become true believers of God do exist. But we have to acknowledge such an outcome is wholly by God’s grace; it is not a reason to abuse grace and become unequally yoked, or “flirt to convert“.

When believers consider spiritual compatibility, we do well to think of it on deeper levels than just sharing the same faith and level of devotion.

For instance, there are factors worth considering in greater detail like one’s calling and ministry. Some couples may feel the need to be called to the same thing like a specific mission field or ministry. Others believe that is enough to share the same values.

Ultimately, a couple should strive to be as effective as they can together for the Lord. As different as our personality and interests may be, it’s important to be unified in one key thing – the relationship must bring glory to God!