Dear Connie,

Happy birthday! And yes – you’ve reached your 35th birthday! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!

I know, I know… not again. You’ve often heard people from all walks of life jest that your boyfriend or husband gets to save on one present!

It makes you roll your eyes! It’s laughable too. And if I may be really honest… kind of sad, because your boyfriend or husband never came.

You’ve prayed for years, and wonder why God hasn’t answered. Why God? Why was I born on Valentine’s Day?

In junior college, you were so envious because the girl seated next to you had a huge bouquet with a big balloon. You had smaller presents but longed for something bigger.

In university, you yearned for your crush(es) to wish you happy birthday. The whole day was spent waiting for that one SMS.

Then the years passed by, and there’s still no ring on your finger.

You watched as your friends walked down the aisle; clapped, cheered and tried to hold that yum seng as long as you could.

You stopped yourself from asking when’s your turn because that would mean another long night of more questions… and seemingly no answers.

You get spammed by tonnes of baby pictures and secretly look forward to the day when you can return the favour. But the gynae tells you that you are now of advanced maternal age…

It’s not that you aren’t enjoying a single’s life. You’ve counted your blessings over and over again.

More personal time, less obligations. It’s not that you are not leading a fulfilling life. You serve in church, enjoy the company of great friends and get to go on mind-opening trips.

You are so blessed that it does make you feel ungrateful how you still yearn and desire for more.

As time ticks, you find yourself in greater sympathy with the Beast in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast as he watched the last petal float to the ground.

You wonder if you will ever meet someone who will see the belle beyond the somewhat beastly exterior.

My dear, don’t you forget that Jesus is the lover of your soul and that you have a loving Heavenly Father.

The anguish is there. So real. So raw.

You fear speaking about it because it reeks of desperation. “Desperate” – the much-dreaded D-word.

You feel whiny writing about the pains of singlehood because it pales in comparison to many other larger struggles like COVID-19 (gosh we are still in the midst of a pandemic!).

But my dear, don’t you forget that Jesus is the lover of your soul and that you have a loving Heavenly Father.

When you were small, you ran to your earthly father after you fell and had an “ouchie”.

Likewise, in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father, no problem is too small for Him not to extend His arms to hug and comfort us!

God knows you are waiting for a Boaz/Isaac/Oppa/Song Joong Ki (take your pick). He is the Master Scriptwriter/Director and you can trust His Script(ure)!

Even as you read this, God is writing your story. It spans many genres and romance isn’t the only chapter that He will write.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

If you surrender your pen and let Him do the writing, He will make your chapters bloom with possibility.

Yes, your singlehood and days of waiting have a purpose.

Offer the aching corner of your heart to Him and ask Him to heal in the way that only He can.

He knit us together in the womb and made our hearts. So go ahead, lament and sing the song of disappointment late into the night, for you know you’ll wake up to mornings of new mercies.

It’s my prayer that your birthday wish would be this and this only do you seek: That you may dwell in the house of the Lord, all the days of your life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.

Yours sincerely,

  1. Define singlehood in 5 words.
  2. What does the Bible say on singlehood? 
  3. How does this affirm or challenge what you understand of singlehood?