My husband, Elvin, always tells me to find a “plot twist” when reading this kind of article or news. When I was a teenager, I also had a youth leader who told me that before judging someone, I should think through all the possible reasons to defend the person first.

Frankly, I haven’t really gone to dig for the “plot twist” or another side of the story. So I decided to do what my then youth leader told me to do – think.

This mum has other kids and perhaps her other kids also had needs? (Although that should not justify her giving up on the little Chinese boy – adopted but now her own.)

Perhaps the complications and the needs of this little boy was too much for this mum to handle? She tried but she really could not? She sought help but still could not?

Perhaps because of the expectations on how she should be the perfect adoption mum, she tried her best but had fallen short and gone into depression?

Perhaps because of her depression, she started harming herself and others? And for the family, she needed to seek help and this was what the counsellors advised?

In the article, it was said that the family was loving and caring, but that the family was assessed and it was found that they may no longer be suitable to provide the best care for the adopted child, who is also the youngest in the family.

Having worked with Child Protection Officers and counsellors, and handled some cases together with the team, I have seen how parenting can take a toll on a human being. Myself included.

I am not sure if this mum indeed monetised her kid, or if she had done all she could to parent this boy as well as her other children.

But after thinking through the reasons, I am not that angry. Instead, I am worried.

Worried about the keyboard warriors, the cyberbullies, the “righteous people” who could possibly drive this mum to death or drive her other children into a scary state of mind. And I worry about all the children losing their mum. I worry about the children hating their mum.

Then I decided that maybe I should just pray that grace will be shown towards this mum and help will be given to the family. May God send some friends to offer support and love to this family.

PAUSE + PRAY
  1. Pray for Huxley. For him to be well taken care of in his new family and for them to be able to provide for his needs.
  2. Pray for the Stauffers. For the impact on their family, and for them to be shown grace. 
  3. Pray for families around the world, especially those that are struggling.