When I heard about a possible cluster forming in the hospital I was working in, I pondered what this would mean for me. I had never expected an outbreak to occur so close to home.

I was only slightly more than halfway through my school posting when I was told that our posting was suspended. We had to self-isolate until our swab results were out.

During the three days of waiting, I was constantly worried that I would test positive for COVID-19. The possibility of that happening was too high to be ignored.

One day after my swab, I received news that the healthcare worker who performed the swab on me tested positive for the virus.

Not long after, the government decided to tighten regulations. As the number of cases kept increasing, we were subsequently told to self-isolate for 28 days and minimise contact with our family members.

Valerie with fellow nursing students who are also currently serving their Stay-Home Notice.

Although I didn’t work in the ward that was linked to the cluster, questions coursed through my mind when I knew that there were doctors who had been infected.

Did the doctor come to my ward to see a patient? Did he/she do a procedure that I assisted in? Were we in close proximity for an extended time, enough for me to contact the virus? Did I come into contact with the nurse or patient who were infected?

I knew that we could be carriers of the virus even though we were asymptomatic, and that was my greatest fear: to carry it home without knowing and pass it on to my family and friends.

I thank God for His protection – my swab results came back negative, but I’m currently serving my 28-day Stay-Home Notice (SHN). 

THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

Writing this on day 8 of my SHN, it has allowed me to reflect on some of my takeaways from all that has happened.

There may seem like there’s nothing to give thanks for since I’m home every day and don’t really have much contact with the world, but I thank God that I’m able to remain joyful because my joy comes from the Lord. 

Among the many things that I’m grateful for, here’s one.

Despite the disruption to my posting, I found out that I was still able to progress on to my research year without delay. I don’t have to replace the remaining weeks of my posting as I have already clocked enough hours to hit the requirement for graduation. 

I also started a series of posts on my Instagram account to document my thanksgivings daily.

A screenshot from one of Valerie’s Instagram Stories.

Through this period of isolation, I’m reminded of how important community truly is (Ecclesiastes 4:8-10).

Even though I’m not able to physically meet anybody, I’m thankful for a supportive group of friends who check up on me regularly through text and Zoom (thank God for technology!).

At times where fear and anxiety clouds my mind, they never fail to remind me of God’s promises and encourage me to hang on. Because of them, I know I’m not fighting this battle alone and that there are many people who are cheering me on!

I’M NOT ALONE

As I spend time reading His Word and in prayer, I’ve also found a lot of comfort in God’s presence.

The night that news broke about more wards being placed on lockdown, I remember experiencing this overwhelming peace during my extended time of worship. It was unexplainable, but it was what I needed in that instant. 

The virus may bring much anxiety and uncertainty, but I take heart because I trust that God is in control. His presence changes everything.

God was with Joseph when his brothers threw him into a pit and sold him to slavery, when he was sent to a faraway land, when he was in prison (Genesis 39). He was with Joshua after Moses died and the Israelites did not have a land of their own (Joshua 1). 

As believers today, Jesus promised that He will always be with us (Matthew 28:20). This is why I’m not discouraged, and why I can be strong and courageous. 

CONFRONTING DEATH

I’ve been spending a large amount of time in my isolation thinking about death.

Just like how this outbreak came without warning, death can come without warning too. This has made me even more convinced of the importance of sharing the gospel.

Much of my time is spent praying for those who have been plagued by the virus and those working on the frontlines.

Physical death is one thing, but eternal death is something else entirely. 

Healthcare workers are risking their lives to be working in an area filled with the virus, yet they are being criticised for bringing the virus into the community. All this adds to the stress and anxiety they are already facing.

Some of my friends who are staff nurses in hospitals are also being deployed to high-risk work areas. At least one of them have had their annual leave cancelled because they have been called back to help.

But beyond their health, I worry for their salvation too. Physical death is one thing, but eternal death is something else entirely. 

I’ve asked myself: If I were to be called back during a massive outbreak, would I do so courageously?

I know that I would say “yes” because I have hope even in death. I’m certain of where I am going. I’m not afraid.

God showed His love for us by dying on the cross for us (Romans 5:1-11). And because of this undeserving love, I can be saved and receive eternal life. 

To my fellow healthcare workers, don’t be afraid. There is a good and faithful God who will never leave nor forsake you. I pray that you will experience this love, whether in your workplace or isolation facility, and that you will find comfort in Him.

And to my fellow healthcare workers who already know the Lord, pray fervently, and share His love bravely and courageously.

I am praying for all of you!

PAUSE + PRAY

Here are a few ways you can support those who are affected by the ward lockdown:

  1. Leave an encouraging note. The staff at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH) are putting together an initiative to surprise their patients by gathering messages and photos. Let’s also leave words of encouragement to cheer on our healthcare workers as they look beyond theirselves to care for others.
  2. Sponsor a lunch or a snack for TTSH staff. During this season when our healthcare workers are stressed, fearful and lost, let’s take care of their well-being so that they have one less meal to think about. This initiative ends in 2 weeks’ time.
  3. Finally, do pray that they and their families will be protected from any COVID-19 exposure. Pray for strength and peace of mind as they care for their patients. And pray for understanding – that they will not be shunned or discriminated by the public. If you would like more ideas on how to pray for the pandemic, here’s a helpful list.